Fic: Stop All the Clocks- Part 1

[geeklover80]

Title: Stop All the Clocks (1/6 + Epilogue)

Author: GeekSlave

Prompt: Four Weddings and a Funeral

Rating: R

Warnings: Language, cheating, character death

Spoilers: For Torchwood series 1 & 2 and Doctor Who series 5 &6

Summary: When bachelor Ianto Jones attends a friend’s wedding, he unexpectedly meets the potential man of his dreams.

Characters/Pairings: Ianto Jones/Jack Harkness, River Song/The Doctor, Rory Williams/Amy Pond, Toshiko Sato/Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato/Tommy Brockless, Jack Harkness/John Hart, Ianto Jones/Gwen Cooper, Rhiannon Jones/Johnny Davies, Rose Tyler/Mickey Smith, Andy Davidson, Wilfred Mott, Estelle Cole, Donna Noble, Rhys Williams, Suzie Costello, Martha Jones, Lisa Hallet

Disclaimer: The characters of Torchwood and Doctor Who belong to the BBC. The characters and screenplay for Four Weddings and a Funeral belong to 20th Century Fox, MGM, and Richard Curtis

Author’s Notes: Written for the reel_Torchwood challenge, round 4. Huge thank you to my betas, janiemc, for making sure my grammar was gooder and for britpicking, and jolinarjackson for support and advice giving. This is my first attempt at any kind of challenge or Jack/Ianto fanfic. Any comments-complimentary or constructive- will be much appreciated. Title taken from line in WH Auden poem "Funeral Blues" used in the movie.

Part 1

There was something peculiar going on that Ianto Jones just couldn’t quite put his finger on. He’d been to his fair share of weddings; ok that was more than an understatement. There was rarely a weekend in his adult life where he wasn’t attending a wedding. Mostly for passing acquaintances and very rarely for anyone he loved or cared for.

So what exactly was it about this wedding that was giving him pause? It could have been that he was watching two lavishly dressed baboons getting married. But, surprisingly, that wasn’t it. Or, maybe it was that instead of exchanging rings they were slapping chains on their wrists. But that wasn’t it either. To be honest, Ianto thought that was the most accurate representation of marriage he’d ever seen at a wedding.

He looked around at the sparsely decorated big top tent with hay strewn all about and the cheap green and gold streamers you’d find at a child’s birthday party. While he thought the décor was tacky, he actually thought a circus themed wedding was a pretty interesting idea. The physical wasn’t the only thing that was sparse. The only guests were some of his best mates: Owen Harper, Rory Williams, John "The Doctor" Smith, Melody "River" Williams and his sister Tosh.
The only one missing was his roommate, Amy Pond. The guest list was fine with him as well. Less boring chitchat, he thought.

He kept wondering what then about this wedding was making him so ill at ease. He tried to think over the whole day. The details were a bit hazy. He did remember-wait a minute, that couldn’t be right. Now this was truly bizarre. He actually made it to the wedding on time. Ianto smiled. This could be the best wedding ever. Unless it was all just a-

Ianto Jones’ eyes opened slowly, and on autopilot he reached over and turned off the incessantly beeping alarm. Groggy and fighting the urge to turn over and bury himself under the covers, Ianto was just starting to remember bits and pieces from his dream. Ianto thought, ‘that had to be the craziest weddin-

"FUCK!!" Ianto bolted upright. "Fuck."

Quickly, Ianto rushed into Amy’s room. The only thing visible under the tangle of covers was a shock of red hair. Ianto simply shook her awake-up and showed her the clock.

"FUCK!!"

The next ten minutes there was a blur of clothes being thrown about, toes being stubbed and keys being tossed about. And a lot of swearing.

Ianto tried to attach his suspenders, but when he bent down to tie his shoe the suspender snapped. “Fuck!” The only thing going through Ianto’s mind was that he could not and did not want to contemplate the wrath his sister Rhiannon would bring down upon him if he missed her wedding- or even worse, if he embarrassed her.

Ianto tried to start the car several times- “Fuck!”- but it wouldn’t start. They had to take Amy’s horribly slow compact orange car. Her car only went 40 mph for Christ’s sakes. There were several moments were Ianto saw his life flash before his eyes-if he had time he would cry at how boring it was. They missed a turn on A4161 and Ianto, running on pure adrenaline and a fair amount of stupidity, put the car in reverse and almost barreled into a semi. Once their lives weren’t in danger, Ianto had to admit that he felt a little like James Bond being able to pull that off.
 

*****

Ianto felt like crawling into a hole as soon as he raced into the church. He and Amy spotted their friends immediately. Dashing over there, Ianto quickly pulled out a pink carnation to use as boutonniere. Melody “River” Williams looked at him with a mixture of fondness and exasperation.

“There’s a sort of greatness to your lateness,” River sighed.

Ianto paused briefly while pinning the boutonniere. “Thanks. It’s not achieved without real suffering.”

Quickly, he dashed over to the altar where his future brother-in-law, Johnny stood. Standing next to him was mutual friend, and River’s brother, Rory Williams. Knowing Johnny he was prepared for a crude diatribe. He decided to start apologizing preemptively.

“I am so, so sorry, Johnny. Inexcusable.” He stammered, “I’ll be killing myself after the service, if that’s any consolation.”

Johnny had his back turned to him. Ianto was surprised when Johnny turned around and that big bulge in his forehead wasn’t throbbing. “Doesn’t matter,” He clapped Rory on the shoulder. “Rory was standing by.”

Ianto turned to Rory. “Thanks, Rory. You’re a saint.” Rory nodded and Ianto couldn’t help quipping, “Disastrous haircut.” Always the genial, good sport, and sometimes a little slow on the uptake, Rory simply nodded. When all else failed him, Ianto always had his sarcasm to fall back on. He sat down at the front pew with Johnny, still slightly apprehensive.

Johnny turned to him. “So why were you late? Couldn’t find a matching tiara to go with your suit?” His laughter boomed out as he clapped Ianto on the shoulder.

Ianto bowed his head. “There’s the Johnny I know and barely tolerate.”

“Hey, you were late to my wedding. I’m allowed to take the piss out of you.” Ianto nodded, having to cede Johnny’s point. “Anyway, as long as you didn’t forget the rings.”

“No,” Ianto smiled, patting his vest pocket. Instantaneously, that smile disappeared. He checked the pocket again. “Oh, kill me, kill me now,” Ianto thought.

Looking for an exit to crawl through, he turned around just as the church doors closed. Thoughts of his impending death and the missing ring momentarily vanished. A tall, brunette man in a grey great coat was making his way to a seat in the back. He was without a doubt the most gorgeous man the Welshman had ever seen. Looking over at Johnny, he saw the broad, idiotic grin the man was giving him. Clearly, he had noticed where Ianto’s gaze had lingered. Slightly embarrassed, Ianto covered by quipping, “Hate people being late. Hate it.”

The usher signaled that everyone was in their seats and the organ began to play the “Bridal March.” As everyone got on their feet, Johnny turned to Ianto somewhat nervously. Ianto managed to pull it together and nodded at him. “Here we go.”

The church doors opened and the bride was escorted in. Ianto took time out from his rising panic to admire how lovely his sister looked. Rhiannon had been like a second parent to Ianto and their younger sister, Tosh after their father’s death. She had put university on hold and thoughts of starting her own family. Johnny and she had been dating for ten years, so this wedding was long overdue. The dress was white, with big puffy sleeves. There was a flower in the center of bodice and a full, puffy skirt.

Amy sighed as the bride floated past. “Oh, isn’t she lovely?”

“Amy, you’re blind. She looks like a big meringue.” River scoffed.

As she passed him, Ianto reached out for Rhiannon’s hand. Briefly squeezing it gently, Ianto and Rhiannon shared smiles before she crushed his hand just as quickly and effortlessly. Standing next to Johnny she simply looked over her shoulder at Ianto and raised an eyebrow. He knew what that was for. She had witnessed him rushing into the church late.

Shaking out his slightly damaged hand, Ianto couldn’t help stealing another glance at the handsome, mystery man in the great coat. But quickly, he focused on the more pressing matter at hand. In a last ditch effort hoping that he just didn’t feel the rings in the pocket that was barely an inch deep or that the pocket miraculously started producing gold bands, he felt around again for the rings. Still no luck. As the vicar asked the congregation to sing the first hymn, Ianto turned to try and signal his best friend, Owen Harper. After a few moments Owen finally looked over. Ianto mouthed “help.” Owen shook his head in confusion. Ianto put up his hand and indicated his empty ring finger and looked at Owen imploringly. The light bulb finally went off and Owen shook his head in pity, a slight mocking scowl on his face. He turned to John Smith, or as he preferred to be called The Doctor, and whispered in his ear. After a slight chortle, he turned to Owen and pulled something out from behind his ear. The spiky haired man then turned to Ianto and held up a shiny penny. Ianto just gave him a withering look. The Doctor shrugged his shoulders. Owen laughed and turned to River. She looked at Ianto in alarm and quickly slipped a ring off her finger. As The Doctor collected the ring, Owen asked Tom and with no luck there turned to Amy. He interrupted her staggeringly bad singing. For a moment she just stared at Owen in confusion.

The vicar began speaking again, “Dearly beloved…” Ianto turned to his friends once again. Owen gave him a thumb up sign. Ianto turned back. He tried to figure out how to excuse himself without drawing attention. Quietly, he advanced forward and whispered in Johnny’s ear, “Back in a sec.” Johnny looked at him bewildered before Ianto left quickly and quietly. He met Owen in the back of the church. Owen handed him the rings and Ianto did a double take. Owen simply shrugged. Ianto could hear that they were close to finishing the vows and the rings were up next. He rushed back to the front and practically skidded into place just in time.

The priest looked at him expectantly. “Do you have the ring?”

Ianto stepped forward and handed him the ring. The vicar’s eyebrows practically shoot up into his hairline. He regained his composure and asked Johnny to repeat after him. “With this ring, I thee wed.”

Johnny and Rhiannon looked at the rings in horror. Rhiannon shot death glares at her brother as Johnny said his vows. “With my body, I thee worship. And with all my worldly goods, I thee endow.” Johnny slipped the bright, multi-colored heart-shaped ring on her finger.

Rhiannon repeated the same, slipping a grey skull with wings onto Johnny’s finger. Ianto tried to pretend nothing was wrong. “Mmm” He said mock serenely.

*****

After the bride and groom were pronounced man and wife, the next part of the ceremony included a poem being read by Rhiannon’s friend, Donna Noble. Then there was a young husband and wife duo murdering Barry Manilow’s “Can’t Smile without You.” It took everything River had to keep from bursting out laughing as The Doctor kept miming putting a gun to his head and blowing his brains out.
As the guests, filed out of the church Ianto was off to the side saying hello to the people he recognized going past. As the man in the great coat approached, Ianto tried to think of something to say. Just as the man sailed past him, Ianto blurted out, “Love the coat!”

The man turned around and gave Ianto a flirtatious grin. “Thanks. I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate for wedding. But then I thought, ‘screw it.’

As they were watching the bride, groom, and assorted family take pictures, Tom and his friend, Mickey Smith took pictures of their own and reviewed the wedding.
Ton snapped a photo. “Splendid, I thought. What did you think?”

Mickey nodded. “I thought splendid. What did you think?”

“Splendid, I thought.”

Amy almost raced past the Doctor and River. “Amelia, fabulous dress!” Amy smiled at the Doctor. “The ecclesiastical purple and the pagan orange symbolizing the symbiosis in marriage between the heathen and Christian traditions?”

“That’s right.” Amy blinked.

Ianto couldn’t take his eyes off the mysterious man with the sparkling smile and great coat. He watched him move through the crowd of people dazzling everybody and producing hearty laughter from anyone he chose to cozy up to. Turning to River, Ianto decided to finally inquire about him. “Any idea who the man in the great coat is?”

River squinted under her pink hat as she turned to the man Ianto was indicating. “Name’s Jack Harkness. Excuse me, Captain Jack Harkness.”

“He looks…a bit dashing. Mysterious.”

“American.”

“Interesting”

“Slut.”

Ianto raised an eyebrow at her. “Really?”

“I think he used to be some sort of model. Face of…something or other. Only goes out with very glamorous people. But will shag anything, and I do mean anything, that moves. ” River spotted Ianto admiring him. She knew that he had experimented with a few men in college, but nothing serious. “Quite out of your league.”

Ianto simply nodded. “Well, that’s a relief. Thanks.” He was quite used to River’s sometime acid tongued barbs. Some people wondered why they were friends. They had met in college and their senses of humor complimented each other and they got on famously. River could definitely be more than a little rough around the edges, but she could be quite caring even if she sometimes expressed that unorthodox ways. She took him to a shooting range after his father’s funeral to get his mind off of it. It did actually work.

*****

Everyone headed off to the reception. As they walked through a field Rory stumbled a little and fell behind. He caught up to them, tripping as he kept looking at the bottom of his shoe. “Anyone else tread in a cowpat?” He continued on when all he got was blank looks. “No, thought not. See you in a mo.”

River rolled her eyes. “Do you think I’d hate him as much if he weren’t my brother?” Owen chuckled.

Standing next to a haystack, Rory wiped at his shoes some more. “Don’t want to blow my chances for romance by smelling of dung all the way through the reception.” He bumped into the stack and a stack of hay fell onto him.

Amy giggled as she walked up to him. “You’re hopeless, Rory.” She leant down and took his shoe off, wiping it cleanly on the grass. She handed the shoe back to him. “There. Now keep up, slowpoke.”

Rory smiled after her.

As they all gathered outside the expansive mansion, waiting for dinner to be served in the marquee, some people were drinking champagne, while others enjoyed light conversation. Ianto had only one thing on his mind-getting up close and personal with Captain Harkness. He watched him closely for several minutes. Finally, it seemed the coast was clear to make his move. Just as he was a few feet from him another stepped up and started chatting with Jack. “Bastard,” Ianto said quietly. He made his way over to the drink cart. “Two, please.” As the server handed him the champagne flutes he spotted the other man talking to Jack leaving. He quickly made his way over again. He pretended it was just a random run in. “Oh, hello.”

“Hi.” Jack smiled broadly at him.

Ianto couldn’t help beaming at him as well. “Uh, do you want one of these?”

“Oh, thank you.” He took the champagne from Ianto.

“Um, I…” Ianto started.

A larger, grinning gentleman interrupted. “Hello, Ianto!”

“Hello, dear Rhys. How are you? How are you?” Ianto did his best to not scream at the man to go away. The man simply nodded genially at him. “Good. Good. This is, um…”

“Captain Jack Harkness.”

“Captain Jack Harkness.”

Rhys reached over to shake his hand. “Delighted, I’m Rhys.”

“Hi, Rhys.”

There was a slight awkward pause. “So Rhys, how’s that gorgeous girlfriend of yours?”

“Oh, she’s no longer my girlfriend.”

Ianto grimaced. “Ah, dear! Still I wouldn’t get to gloomy about it. Rumor has it she never stopped bonking ol’ Toby de Lisle in case you two didn’t work out.” Ianto chuckled good-naturedly.

Rhys looked stricken. “She’s now my wife.”

Jack’s eyes widened and he stifled a chuckle.

Ianto stuttered. “Excellent! Uh…Excellent! Congratulations!”

As much as Jack wanted to see how cutely Ianto wormed his way out of this, the awkwardness was too much for even him to take. “Excuse me.”

Ianto was still trying to work out how to extricate himself out of his blunder and was finding there was no way to repair the damage. “Any kids or anything, Rhys? Do we hear the patter of tiny…feet?” Rhys continued to look dumbfounded and as if he were trying to piece together how he could be so blind. Still, Ianto continued digging his hole. “No. Well, there’s plenty of time for that, isn’t there? No hurry.” Finally he stopped and left.

He went over to a pole covered in an intricately designed white sheet. He bonked his head against it. As he contemplated doing it again, he noticed a small older woman staring at him as if he was mental. He turned to her. “Hi, how are you?” The woman shuddered and walked away. Jack watched all this feeling incredible sympathy for the well-meaning, but hapless man.

“You know if I knew we could get away with informal wear, I would have worn my brown trench coat,” the Doctor spoke looking at Jack.

“What are you going on about?” Amy asked, and then followed his gaze. “Ooh, yummy! That man is sex on legs.”

“I don’t particularly see what’s so great about a great coat anyway.” The Doctor mused. “I mean it’s made of wool. That’s not particularly special. Now if it were made of something really cool like silk or…ooh adamantium now that would be really great.”

Amy just furrowed her brow at him.

River could take no more of the crowd and the boring meaningless chitchat, whereas her partner the Doctor lived for all of the interaction and found plenty of ways to entertain himself. She found herself under the marquee, with a blonde haired fellow who seem peculiarly nervous. He looked kind of interesting and she was bored enough to strike up a conversation. “Oh, my name’s River.”

The man almost seemed startled but he responded, “Um, I’m Andy.”

“What do you do?”

He fidgeted with the place cards on the table before answering. “I’m training to be a priest.”

“Good Lord!” River was truly shocked. She couldn’t exactly describe what she thought a priest would look like, but this Andy certainly didn’t fit the bill.

“Do you do weddings?”

“No. No, not yet. I will though, of course. Jolly nerve-racking.”

“Yes, rather like the first time one has sex.”

Andy looked a bit taken aback, but covered well. “Um…W-well, I suppose so.”

River could see she had rattled him and couldn’t help teasing him some more. “Though rather less messy, of course, and far less call for condoms.”

Andy just tittered nervously and looked around for an exit.

Ianto just wandered around aimlessly after the gaffe with Rhys. He could see Rhiannon looking at her ring and then looking at him with murderous intent. He didn’t dare go over to her just yet. Finally he saw a smiling face approach. At least one of his sisters wasn’t mad at him.

“How’re you doing?” Tosh signed.

Remember the time you started Dad’s boat- and the propeller cut my leg to shreds?”

Tosh signed “yes.”

“This is worse.”

Tosh looked at him skeptically.

A shy, tall young man with a round face and grey suit walked up to Owen. He smiled shyly at him. “Who’s that girl over there, in the purple dress?” He pointed at Tosh.

“Uh, her name’s Toshiko.” Owen replied.

“Something of a dish, isn’t she?

Owen looked over at Tosh contemplatively. “Well, I’ve always thought so.”

The man, Tommy, turned to Owen in confusion. “Why are they, um…?” He gestured with his hands.

“The dish can’t hear.”

Tommy turned back to Ianto and Tosh, who were laughing over something. “Oh…Gosh.”

“Yeah, silent…but deadly attractive.” Owen and Tommy shared a laugh.

*****

A little boy with mini golden gong banged on it, indicating that dinner was served. Everyone started to file into the large marquee off to the side of the pale, two story mansion. Everyone found their respective tables. Bread was already laid out on small plates next to fancy folded napkins. Amy found her seat and sat down next to an attractive, young curly-haired gentleman. She kissed him full on the mouth. “Hi. My name’s Amy. Don’t let me drink too much or else I’ll get really flirty.” The man looked at her in bemusement.

Ianto sat down at the table for the bride and groom’s party and family. He turned to the older gentleman next to him, Johnny’s grandfather, Wilf. “How do you do? My name’s Ianto.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! Ianto died twenty years ago.”

Ianto squirmed in his seat. “Must be a different Ianto, I think.”

Wilf looked offended. “Are you telling me I don’t know my own brother?”

“No, no.” Ianto said quickly.

Finally it was time for Ianto to give his best man speech. He tapped on his wine glass to get everyone’s attention. “Ladies and gentleman, I’m sorry to drag you away from your delicious desserts. There are just a few little things I thought I should say as best man, and as brother of the bride. This is only the second time I’ve ever been a best man. I hope I did the job alright that time. The couple in question is at least still talking to me.” He paused as the crowd laughed. “U-unfortunately, they’re not actually talking to each other. The divorce came through a couple of months ago.” Another pause. “But I’m assured it had absolutely nothing to do with me. Apparently, Paula knew that Piers had slept with her younger sister before I mentioned it in the speech.” There was more laughter, louder than before. Jack seemed to be laughing the loudest of them all, which was saying something in a room containing the Doctor. Ianto continued on. “The fact that he’d slept with her mother came as a surprise…but, um, I think, was incidental to the nightmare of recrimination…and, um…violence…that became their two-day marriage.” Ianto noticed that Rhys was looking more and more uncomfortable and staring at his wife. "Anyway, enough of that! My job today is to talk about Johnny. And there are no skeletons in his cupboard.” A lot of the crowd had a good laugh at that. Which Johnny looked slight put out by. “Or so I thought!” The crowd “ooohed” knowingly. “I’ll come on to that in a minute. I would just like to say this.” Ianto turned serious as he looked at the couple and looked down again at the table. “Um…I am…as ever, in bewildered awe…of anyone who makes this kind of commitment that Johnny and Rhi have made her today. I know I couldn’t do it and, uh…I think it’s wonderful they can.”

Jack sat in stunned silence watching Ianto bare his heart and soul like that. He had been enjoying the speech before, finding Ianto a delight. But He noticed the shift as soon as the young man looked at the happy couple. Jack could never imagine getting up in front of a crowd and baring himself that way. This was a man that he could enjoy getting to know. He just wasn’t sure if these were the right circumstances.

“Rhi, I love you and it means the world to me that you’re finally getting everything you’ve ever wanted. You deserve this and so much more.” Rhiannon teared up, instantly forgiving Ianto for his lateness and saddling her, even temporarily, with such a tacky ring. And just as quickly as he had shifted gears before, Ianto did it again. He cleared his throat. “So, anyway back to Johnny and those sheep!” The crowd laughed uproariously. “So, ladies and gentlemen, if you’d raise your glasses. To the adorable couple!”

Everyone stood up and raised their glasses. “The adorable couple.”

After sharing a kiss with her new husband, Rhiannon went over to Ianto and hugged him.

*****

The bride and groom made their way over to the dance floor set up under the massive marquee. Johnny awkwardly tried to dance along to the rhythm and with Rhiannon’s hands waving about. He got into it and started dancing around. But nothing could compare to the Doctor’s erratic uncoordinated jumping around and hopping from person to person, frantically thrusting his elbows out. Owen stood in a corner watching the festivities, not one for dancing. He had no such problems with champagne however and was onto his second glass. Tosh gracefully danced her way over to him. “I won’t bother to ask if you care to dance. I’m already deaf. I don’t need to be poked in the eye and become blind as well.” She signed, smiling warmly at him.

“Oh, come on Tosh, I’d never poke your eyes out. I’d just gently kick you in the shins.” He and Tosh laughed.

Tosh looked at him seriously. “How are you doing?”

Owen put on a fake smile. “I’m doing quite well. Katie picked up the last of her stuff a couple of weeks ago. I’m enjoying being unshackled by the boredom of coupledom once again.” Tosh raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re not buying that, are you?”

Tosh shook her head. “But for now, I’ll pretend like I do.”

Owen nodded at her gratefully.

Ianto watched Jack dance somewhat sensuously with another woman. He was jealous and didn’t understand what had come over him and why he was feeling this strongly so fast. River came down and sat next to him. She laughed watching the Doctor dance. “I remember the first time I saw John on the dance floor. I feared lives would be lost!” Ianto chuckled, still unable to tear his eyes away from Jack. River looked at him knowingly. “So is it love at first sight?”

Ianto looked at her a bit startled. “Oh, Good Lord, no! It’s the woman he’s dancing with. I think she sold me my espresso maker. Just trying to remember what store that was in.” River just laughed at his horrible attempt at deflection. “Though, let’s say one uh, for the sake of argument, one did, uh, take a fancy to someone at a wedding. I mean do you think there really are people who can say, ‘Hi, babe. Name’s Ianto. This is your lucky night’?

“Well, if there are, they’re not English.”

“Quite.”

Outside, by the mansion as they were preparing to go inside and change into clothes for the honeymoon, Rhiannon was saying her goodbyes to some departing guests. “You know I love you, Jean, don’t you?” She grabbed Jean’s hands. “I love you. I love you.” She quickly turned to a nearby gentleman. “And, Mike, I’ve never met you before, but I love you very much. I really do.”

Johnny smiled at Rory. “Ignore her. She’s drunk” Suddenly, he looked worried. “At least I hope she is. Otherwise, I’m in real trouble.”

Back inside the marquee, Mickey walked up to bridesmaid, Rose Tyler. She was sitting dejectedly in her flower print dress with a glass of sherry almost gone. “How’s it going, Rose?”

“Bloody awful.”

Mickey sat down. “Oh, dear, what’s the prob?”

Rose looked up at him blearily. “I was promised sex. Everybody said it. “You be a bridesmaid, you’ll get sex. You’ll be fighting them off.’ But not so much as a tongue in sight.”

Mickey hesitated, but he saw an opportunity that he’d wanted for a long time, so he took it. “Well, I mean, if you fancy…anything…I could always…”

Rose looked at him fully. “Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Mickey. I’m not that desperate.”

“No, right. Of course.” Mickey said dejectedly. “Fair enough. It’s a good point."

*****

Soon the bride and groom were on their way to their limo, which had colorful streamers and balloons all over. Hurriedly, Rhiannon threw the bouquet in Amy and Rose’s general direction. Rose was a bit quicker and managed to get it.
Everyone headed back to the marquee for more dancing and fun. Well, fun for some. Mickey watched hopelessly as Rose danced with another man. As Tosh walked past, Tommy tried to work up the courage to at least go up and say hello, but he couldn’t do it.

Ianto was watching the Doctor oddly dance with Jack. Dance probably wasn’t the right word for it. The Doctor flailed about as Jack desperately tried to keep up a conversation with him. Rory came up and sat down next to Ianto. “Where are you staying tonight, Ianto?”

“Oh, um…Amy and I are at some pub. The Lucky Boat, something like that. Aren’t we all?”

Rory shook his head. “Ah, no. Slight change of plan. The others are in fact coming back to my place. Nansy’s in residence. Might knock us up a quick plate of eggs and bake over a late night Scrabble. I wondered if you’d like to join.”

“Oh, yeah that’d be great! Thanks very much.” Ianto clapped Rory on the shoulder. “Is there room for Amy?”

“Always. There’s more than enough room. 137 rooms, actually.”

Ianto chuckled lightly at how blithely Rory just tossed that fact out there. “Right, Rory, are you the richest man in England?”

Rory scoffed at that, looking slightly embarrassed. “Oh, no, no! I believe we’re about…seventh. The Queen obviously…and uh, that Branson bloke’s doing terribly well.” He paused in thought. “Well, excellent news. I’ll go and tell Amy.”

“Yeah.”

Rory headed off, but then turned back to Ianto. “That’s, uh…unless you get lucky first.” He gave Ianto thumbs up and left.

Ianto absently reached for a can of beer, but before he took a swig looked and noticed that there seemed to be a cigarette or something at the bottom. He was interrupted before he had a chance to investigate further.

“Hi.” Captain Jack greeted him.

Ianto looked up, somewhat surprised. He got up. “Hi. Hi. I thought you’d gone. “

“No, not yet. I was just wondering where you were staying tonight?”

“Well, uh…I was staying at some pub called The Lucky…The Boat or something like that.”

“The Boatman,” Jack finished for him.

“Right. But now I’m going to stay at some friend’ house…with, um…some friends.” Ianto explained. “Well, uh, uh, I say house but I think ‘enormous castle’ is a more accurate description. “

Jack frowned. “That’s too bad. Because I’m at The Boatman.”

Ianto stared at him for a second. “Oh.”

“Well, it was…nice not quite meeting you.” Jack smiled at him. “It was a great speech.”

“Thanks.” There was a long, lingering pause. Neither knew how, nor really wanted to, end the conversation.

Finally, Jack cleared his throat. “Well, I’m going now.”

Jack starting to turn to leave forced Ianto to speak up. “No! No, no. Don’t go. We can meet now. The evening’s just getting going.”

Jack laughed. “I think we both know that’s a big lie.”

Jack left. Ianto stared after him, not believing what an idiot he was to pass up on the opportunity to get to know him. “Fuck.” He grabbed the beer he’d set down before Jack’s interruption. He took a quick swig and almost chocked, having forgotten about the abandoned cigarette at the bottom.

Later, the awful duo who had performed at the end of the wedding ceremony was singing up on stage. The Doctor grabbed his coat. “The castle beckons, Rory. Are you sober?”

“Absolutely. Orange juice all night.” He promptly took a step and fell over the chair in front of him. River and the Doctor laughed, heading out.

As they all headed outside, no one noticed the couple making out at a corner table. Rose was practically mounting Mickey on the table, her hands running messily through his air. She pulled away, gasping for air. “Oh! Mickey!” She said in shock and then grabbed his face placing another sloppy kiss on his lips.

As his friends cavorted and laughed drunkenly, Ianto contemplated his idiotic decision to go to Rory’s castle instead of spending time with Jack. As they all started singing “Stand by Your Man” Ianto came to a quick decision. “Rory! Rory, can you stop the car. Stop the car.” Rory put the car in park. “Sorry. Sorry. I just think I might, um, stay in that pub after all. “

Rory looked back at him in surprise. “Why on Earth…” He was drowned out by his friends starting to heckle Ianto with silly noise. Ianto made his way out the truck’s back door.

Ianto waved his hands to stop his friend’s antics. “No, no seriously. I’m doing some research into the pubs with the word ‘boat’ in the title. I have to produce the definitive work.”

Rory shrugged, and started up the car. “Oh, well. Please yourself.”

“It’s a silly thing.” Ianto watched the car drive off. “Right.” Once again he was starting to second guess himself. “Odd decision.” Still, he headed off in the opposite direction to The Boatman.

*****

When Ianto got to the big, if not old-fashioned pub, which looked like a mansion itself, He found no one at the front desk. He went into the lounge in front and looked around hesitantly. He spotted Jack sitting in a garish orange arm chair. He brushed his hands through his hair. “Hello.”

Jack poked his head around the side. He looked at Ianto in surprise. “Hi.”

“Hi. In the end it turns out there wasn’t room for all of us.”

Jack smirked at him. “You said it was a castle.”

Ianto stammered. “Yes, no, it is a castle. It’s, um, just a very, very small one. Tiny, in fact. Just one up, one down, which is rare.”

Jack nodded knowingly. “You learn something new every day.”

A bored looking waiter in a red jacket stood behind Ianto. “Drink, sir?”

Ianto turned to him. “Yeah. I’d like a glass of whisky, please. Thanks.” He turned to Jack. “Do you want…?”

Jack nodded. “Yeah, sounds good.”

“Another one for that gentleman. Thanks.”

Ianto was somewhat startled when he turned back and saw that Jack was gone. He heard whistling and loud footsteps on the stairs. “Ah! You here, too? How are you?”

Ianto turned around and was face to face with Donna Noble. She had spoken at the wedding and was friends with Rhiannon. Ianto was never comfortable around her. She was very loud and always seemed to be sizing every eligible male as a potential husband. He faked a smile and turned around. “Hello, I’m fine.”

Donna gazed around. “Haven’t seen Captain Jack, have you?”

“Who?”

“Jack. American. Gorgeous ass.” She walked down the steps and into the lounge, still looking around the room somewhat absently. “Wedding guest. Smell to die for.”

“Uh, no. Sorry.” Ianto said, still confused.

“Blast! I think I was in there.”

Jack popped his head up from behind the small, colorful sofa he’d been hiding behind. He shook his head vigorously at Donna’s last comment. He mouthed, ‘No way in hell.’

Donna sauntered over to Ianto. “Look, if you do see him, could you tell him I’ve gone to my room?”

Trying not to look over to where Jack was hiding was difficult for Ianto, but he turned to Donna. “Yeah, yeah.”

The waiter came back. He handed Ianto his drink. “Your whisky, sir.”

Ianto took the drink. “Thank you.”

The waiter glanced around the room. “And one for the…”

Ianto quickly grabbed the other glass. “…Road. Lovely.”

“Uh, actually, I think I might have one of those.” Donna slurred, already somewhat drunk. “Do you mind if I join you?”

Ianto grimaced. Even if he didn’t have Jack waiting for him, this wasn’t how he wanted to spend the rest of his evening. But, still, he found it impossible to be rude, if only to be saved from the wrath of Rhiannon if she found out he was mean to her friend. “No. It’d be lovely.”

“Another glass of whisky and a cigar.” Donna said to the waiter. She put a hand on the departing waiter, stopping him. “Hold on. Make that a bottle.” She turned to Ianto. “We might as well settle in, eh?” She put her arm around Ianto. “Let’s see if we can push on till dawn, shall we?” As Donna led him to the lounge, Jack stuck his head out from the armchair next to the sofa. He glared at Ianto and mouthed, ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ As Donna’s back was turned, Ianto merely shrugged and sat down.

“I was at school with Johnny’s brother Bufty. Tremendous bloke. Buggered me senseless. I had trouble sitting down when I was going out with him, if you know what I mean.”

“Mm.” Ianto downed his whisky briskly.

The waiter reappeared. “Excuse me, sir. Your wife says could you come upstairs at once? Room 12, in case you’re so drunk you can’t remember.”

Ianto put down his drink and furrowed his brow. “My wife?”

“Yes, sir.” The waiter said pointedly.

Ianto’s eyes bulged out as he caught on. “Oh, my wife! Ha-ha! My wife!”

Donna laughed. “God! You are drunk if you can’t even remember you’ve got a wife!”

“Yeah, yeah!” Ianto made a funny face. “Do you mind if I…” He pointed upstairs.

“No. no. Off you go. Off you go. Best of luck.” Ianto got up and walked towards the stairs. “Lucky singleton, me. I’ll have another search for that John.”

“Jack.” Ianto wasn’t sure why he corrected her.

“That’s the one. Damn fine bloke. I think I’m in there.”

Ianto made his way quickly upstairs at knocked on the door to room 12. Jack opened the door after the first knock. “Hi.”

“Hello.”

“Sorry about that.” Ianto fidgeted nervously.

Jack waved his hand. “No, that’s fine. She was hard to get rid of.”

“Yeah.” Ianto sighed. “So, um...”

Ianto felt a little nervous, and more than a little intrigued at the way Jack was leering at him. “Maybe we could just… skulk around here for a bit and then… go back down.”

“Now that's a thought. I don't usually skulk, but I suppose I could skulk if skulking were required.” Jack cocked his head to the side. “Do you skulk regularly?”

“No. No, I don’t normally consider myself a skulker but…” He got lost staring at Jack’s flirty grin.

“Well, why don’t you come in and skulk for a while… and we’ll see?”

Ianto hesitated briefly, but soon followed Jack inside. Subconsciously, or perhaps consciously. He headed straight towards the bed.

Jack leaned against a bedpost. “So, I noticed the bride and groom didn’t kiss in the church which is kind of strange. Where I come from, kissing is very big.”

Ianto walked a little closer to him. “Is it? Well, I think you’re right. We are probably more reserved. You know, ‘You may kiss the bride’ isn’t actually in the Book of Common Prayer.”

“I always think I’ll go too far, you know, in the heat of the moment.” Jack licked his lips and leaned a little bit closer to Ianto.

Faltering, the only thing that came to Ianto’s mind to say was, “Uh huh?” He paused and cleared his throat. “How far do you think too far would be?”

“I don’t know.” He stared at Ianto. “Maybe…,” he leaned forward and pecked Ianto on the cheek, “that would be alright.”

Ianto’s breath caught in his throat. “I think that would be fine.”

Jack wrinkled his nose. “In fact, it might be a bit dismissive. Maybe this…,” he came forward and planted a soft, but firm kiss on Ianto’s lips, “would be better.” He lingered inches away from Ianto’s lips. He wouldn’t take it any further; it was up to Ianto now.

“Yeah, I think it would be dangerous to take it any further.” Ianto’s eyes darted between looking at Jack’s lips and his eyes. He couldn’t hold back any longer. He leaned forward the rest of the way and captured Jack’s lips in a passionate, open-mouthed kiss.

Things heated up quickly from there. Jack’s hands came to rest in Ianto’s hair and their tongues licked at each other. They fell onto the bed, their legs tangled together. Ianto was obviously nervous and kept making nervous chatter about the origins of the word honeymoon as Jack took his shirt off. Jack pulled back a little. “Ianto, you’re adorable. But shut up, and take your pants off.” Ianto smiled and obliged quickly.

The night was almost a blur for Ianto. He remembered running his hands down Jack’s thighs. Jack kissing his way slowly down his chest. The way it felt when he first entered Jack- that warm, tight heat short circuiting his brain. Jack’s insistent thrusting backward bringing him back. It was the most scary, intense, and beautiful moment of Ianto’s life.

*****

Ianto woke up slowly the next morning. He barely heard Jack zipping up his overnight bag. He looked up at Jack sleepily. “What’s happening?”

Jack finished zipping up his bag. “I have to go.”

“Where?”

“America.”

“That is a tragedy.”

Jack smiled at him, but it quickly faded as he walked towards the bed. “Just before I go, when were you thinking of announcing the engagement?”

Ianto blinked up at him rapidly. “Sorry. Whose engagement?”

“Ours. I assumed since we slept together and everything, we’d be getting married. What did you think?”

Ianto’s heartbeat sped up. He stammered, as he slowly lifted his head up, “W-w-w…I, um…Gosh! You know, that…that, um…takes a lot of thinking about, that kind of thing. Obviously, I’m…I, um…” Was it possible he could have misjudged this man so horribly? He really didn’t think so. He stopped suddenly and looked down embarrassed. “You’re joking.”

Jack laughed loudly.

Ianto sank back down to the pillow in relief. “God! For a moment there, I thought I was in Fatal Attraction. I thought you were Glenn Close and I was gonna get home and find my pet rabbit on the stove.”

Jack’s laughter trailed off. “No. But I think we both missed a great opportunity here.” He looked at Jack sadly as he grabbed his luggage. “Bye.”

Ianto was crestfallen as Jack walked out the door, and presumably his life, for good. He snuggled up to Jack’s pillow and held it to his chest.

Comments

[yanto]

love love the movie-brilliant.

[geeklover80]

I love the movie to and am hoping I did it justice. Thanks for commenting.

Stacey