Fic: Expiration Date (Part 1)
Dec. 16th, 2012 07:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
geeklover80Title: Expiration Date
Author/Artist:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
geekslave
Pairing(s): Arthur/Merlin, Ganieda (OFC)/Gwaine, Lancelot/Gwen
Characters: Merlin, Arthur, Gwaine, Ganieda (OFC), Gwen, Lancelot, Gaius, Uther, Kilgarrah
Word Count: 35,554
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Just before receiving vital treatment for cancer, Arthur meets Merlin and his life is turned upside down when one night with Merlin results in an unforeseen pregnancy. To protect the baby, Arthur refuses the treatment.
Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
Warnings: Mpreg, angst, lots of talk of cancer, fluff.
Notes: Written for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
merlinmpreg fest. Special thanks to my beta dustfinger223. I'm not a doctor just play one while writing fic. :) I did a lot of research, but I'm sure I didn't get everything right.
Arthur watched his friends and smiled. Gwen and Lancelot’s annual New Year’s party was a success as usual. They had just counted down to midnight and the couples had their New Year’s kiss, some going on a little longer than necessary. Gwen and Lancelot watched Gwaine and Ganieda’s somewhat pornographic display, with a mixture of fondness and apprehension. Everything was the same as it always was. It gave him some comfort to know that his friends would always have this, even if he weren’t around to enjoy it.
Before he could get too maudlin, Ganieda sashayed over with a big grin. She threw her arm around him. “I thought you knew the rules. There are no frowns allowed at a Gwen and Lancelot soiree.” Arthur smiled wanly. “I think we forgot to say thank you for the limo ride.”
This got a genuine smile from Arthur. “I know how you like to arrive in style.” Gwaine and Ganieda always liked arriving to a party in a limousine, dressed to the nines. Ganieda said it felt like going to the BAFTAs.
“You are a kind and generous friend, Arthur Pendragon.” She smiled brightly at him, before turning suddenly solemn. She tucked a lock of her dark brown hair behind her ear. “You can tell them, you know.”
Arthur furrowed his brow at her. “Tell who what?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, Arthur. It doesn’t suit you.”
Arthur continued to look bemused. Recognition suddenly dawned on him and he rolled his eyes. “Right. How am I always forgetting you’re a bloody psychic?”
She sighed. “I don’t blame you. It’s just one of my many talents.”
Ganieda claimed to have magic. She was one of the only people Arthur knew who had it. Arthur was admittedly a little skeptical. It was something he had trouble believing without proof. While a lot of Ganieda’s predictions came true, not all of them did. Whenever a failed prediction occurred Ganieda said it wasn’t her fault. She said that she only saw one of many possible futures and she couldn’t always control what happened. Arthur turned and walked into Gwen and Lance’s small kitchen, more of a kitchenette really and fiddled with the hand on the refrigerator. “I can’t say anything to them. This is supposed to be a celebration. This isn’t exactly the most festive of news.”
“No one will care. This is going to be a hard year and you need your friends."
Arthur sighed and was about to reply when Gwen interrupted. "What are you two doing in here?" She raised an eyebrow dramatically. "You weren't snogging were you? You know Gwaine would be disappointed...
"...That we didn't invite him to join." All three laughed loudly.
“Come on.” Gwen put her arms around both Arthur and Ganieda. “It’s time for the question of the night.” Arthur groaned inwardly. Arthur loved Gwen and her predictability but he not in any mood for what he knew was coming.
Everyone gathered in Gwen and Lance’s sparsely decorated living room. Both Gwen and Lance were students, she was soon to be a qualified teacher and Lance had just graduated medical school, and couldn’t afford much. Gwen and Lance shared the black leather sofa. Ganieda and Gwaine sat on the futon by the coffee table in the center of the room and Arthur took the black arm chair. Gwen looked around the room. “I know everyone knows what I’m going to ask, but I’m going to do it anyway. It’s tradition and I’m nothing if not traditional.”
“Says the woman living in sin with her boyfriend.” Gwaine teased. Ganieda kicked his shin. “Ow! Gwen knows I’m only teasing. Besides, I think living in sin is the only rational way to live. Marriage is such a-
Ganieda clamped her hand over his mouth before Gwaine could yet again go on an anti-marriage tirade. “As you were saying, Gwen?”
“Yes. Before I was so rudely interrupted,” she winked at Gwaine. “I was going to ask everyone to say what is the most important thing that they hope to achieve this year. Since I asked the question, I’ll start. After getting my Postgraduate Certificate in Education, I hope that I can find a job here in London.” She raised her wine glass and toasted. “Cheers.”
Lancelot went next.” I will finally be completing my Foundation Training and hope to join my preferred Foundation School.” He took a sip of champagne as well.
“I’m hoping that I can convince my brother to come and stay with me and stop running away from his problems.” She smiled sadly. “I miss him.” Gwaine put his arm around her and kissed her on top of the head as she took a sip of her drink. Gwen squeezed her hand sympathetically. No one had met Ganieda’s twin brother Merlin. He had left before Gwaine had started going out with Ganieda.
Gwaine chugged his drink and stood up. “I really, really hope to get Ganieda to reconsider the sexual position that she refuses to do. And, I know you’re wondering, I’m not talking about a-” Ganieda clapped her hand over his mouth again while everyone else groaned, with Lance putting his hands over Gwen’s ears. “Too much?” Gwaine feigned innocence.
“And that’s your yearlong goal?” Gwen asked in disbelief.
“I can tell you that’ll be a lifelong goal because it is never going to happen.” Ganieda interjected.
Gwen laughed and was shaking her head as she turned to Arthur. “Sorry you have to follow that, Arthur.”
Arthur just nodded and absently and took a deep breath. He had no idea what to say. It was rare for him to be tongue tied. The only time he got like that was around his father. “Um, for this year I...” He faltered and looked at Ganieda, who silently nodded. “I have cancer.” It was like deja vu watching the smiles slowly fade from their faces and the furrowed brows. “I suppose it would be more accurate to say the cancer is back. I’m no longer in remission. I’m scheduled for radiation therapy in eight weeks. I have a 30-40% chance of survival.” He paused and glanced at his friends, who still wore matching stunned faces. “So I guess my goal for the year is...to survive.” He picked up his glass. “Uh...cheers?”
~*~
The reactions this time weren’t that different from the last time he told them he had cancer. After consoling a sobbing Gwen, he was enveloped in a ten minute hug by Lance. While it should have been uncomfortable, Lance’s voice was so soothing and presence so comforting, Arthur felt better than he had in weeks. Plus, he had to admit he’d had a huge crush on Lance years ago. Ganieda was sitting by a still speechless Gwaine. Gwaine speechless was certainly a rare occurrence.
After finally extricating himself from Lance, Arthur walked over to Gwaine and sat by his side. A few seconds passed and Gwaine turned to him. “I have something to say.”
“I knew that wouldn’t last long.”
“As someone who has saved your life in the past, you owe it to listen to me.”
Arthur resisted rolling his eyes. Gwaine always liked to take credit for Arthur’s initial diagnosis. When they were 16, Gwaine had smuggled in a bottle of vodka into their prep school. Despite, having a limited amount had severely negative reaction, throwing up profusely and then passing out. After a physical exam and some blood tests Arthur was diagnosed with cancer. Only Gwaine could take credit for saving someone by landing them in the hospital. But Arthur did have to admit that he did feel enormously grateful to Gwaine. Not just for inadvertently leading to his diagnosis, but for always sticking by him. He sighed and looked at Gwaine. “Dazzle me with your wisdom.”
Gwaine grinned. “I told you this last time, but you didn’t listen. So I’m going to say it again, two words, bucket list.”
This time Arthur did roll his eyes. “And my answer is the same as last time - you’re an idiot. I’m rich, Gwaine. There’s not really a whole lot I haven’t had the opportunity to do.”
“It’s not about your money, princess. You may have had the opportunity but you’ve never taken advantage. Need I remind you that you’re still a virgin?”
Arthur’s face went extremely red and he looked around to make sure no one else heard. “That is none of your business.”
Gwaine clapped him on the shoulder. “Look, it’s not your fault. You have tyrant for a father, who acts more like your jailer than your dad.”
Arthur didn’t bristle at Gwaine’s comment about his father. Not only was it mostly true, but he was used to people calling his father things a lot worse than tyrant. Being Uther Pendragon’s son in this town was not easy. “My father has nothing to do with this, Gwaine.”
“Then why not do it?” Gwaine asked.
“I don’t know. Perhaps I don’t want to make up a list of things to do that I’ll either be too sick or too dead to complete.”
Gwaine looked stricken for half a second, before looking Arthur squarely in the eye. “You are not going to die. And I refuse to let you continue to let you act like you’re dead already. You’re going to make that list. Got it?”
Arthur blinked at him. When Gwaine got serious it was more than a little unsettling. He found himself nodding.
~*~
Arthur felt completely stupid. He still thought the list was a silly idea, but since it meant so much to Gwaine he tried to honestly come up with things. He was surprised to find that there a few things that he came up with that he didn’t realize he really wanted. After a couple of hours at it, he looked at the list and thought only one thing: “You are such a girl, Pendragon.” He picked up his pen to start scratching some things off when there was a brief, curt knock on the door. Knowing it was his father, Arthur hid the list in his desk drawer. He opened the door to his father. “Hello.”
Uther nodded curtly, he had his thick organizer in his hand. “Hello. Do we need to go over your schedule for tomorrow? You know you’ll be at the office at 6 AM.”
Arthur inwardly groaned. His father had a habit of asking questions and never giving anyone a chance to answer. “Yes. I know that.” He had been working at his father’s law firm for over a year now. His father insisted that Arthur work his way up in the firm, even though Arthur had made never indicated he had an interest in going to law school. “I’ll be working with Mr. Monmouth, helping him go through the depositions. Then I have a doctor’s appointment at 2. And there are some interviews at 4 for a new housekeeper.” Uther was a ridiculous perfectionist and none of their household staff managed to last long before getting fed up and summarily telling Uther where he could shove the job.
“What are your plans for this evening?”
“I’m going over to Ganieda and Gwaine’s.” Arthur answered.
It was almost imperceptible, but Arthur could see Uther’s eyes roll heavenward. Arthur knew Uther had no use for his friends. He seemed to have an especially large amount of disdain for Ganieda. “Very well. Call me after your appointment and let me know how it went.”
“I will.” Uther hovered awkwardly in the doorway, looking like he wanted to say something, but he left without saying anything more.
~*~
A couple of days later, he made his way to Gwaine and Ganieda’s flat. He hadn’t been to make it over the other day because work at the office took a lot longer than expected. He knocked on their door and once again contemplated whether he really wanted to show Gwaine the list he made or not. He still thought some of the items were embarrassing. After knocking a second time, Arthur took out his key and decided to wait. He was feeling a bit tired. As he walked in, he looked around slowly, wondering if he was in the right place. The place was clean.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement, and walked towards the kitchen. As he got closer he heard a man’s voice singing. It was definitely not Gwaine. He walked through the archway and immediately halted in place. The man was half-naked, wearing black boxer briefs and mopping the floor. He had his iPod ear buds in and was doing a somewhat off-key, and loud, rendition of Ellie Goulding’s “Lights.” The tall dark haired man was skinny, but had well-defined muscles, especially in his upper body. He had broad shoulders and while they weren’t exactly six-packs, his abs were very respectable.
The man dipped the mop in the plastic bucket by his feet and dragged the mop across the floor. “Cause they’re calling, calling, calling me home. Calling, calling, calling home. You show the lights that stop me turn to stone…” Arthur was too caught up between wanting to laugh at the man’s enthusiastic singing, while being hypnotized by his wiggling bottom that he didn’t notice Merlin start to turn around until it was too late. The tall stranger was so startled by Arthur’s presence that he accidentally knocked over his bucket, and taking an ill-advised step back, fell hard on his ass.
Getting over his shock immediately Arthur rushed forward. “Are you alright?”
“No, I’m not alright. I think I broke my ass.” The man gingerly rubbed his posterior.
“That would be a shame.” Arthur spoke without thinking.
The man looked up at him sharply and raised an eyebrow at him. His expression was slowly turning from annoyed to curious.
Arthur almost lost his breath. This man had the bluest eyes he’d ever seen. People sometimes complimented Arthur on how pretty his eyes were, always telling him he had the same eyes as his mother, but Arthur had nothing on this man. He was mesmerized by the beauty of the color and the kindness in his eyes. He was startled when the man cleared his throat. “I don’t mean to interrupt your day dreaming but might you give me a hand up?”
Arthur shot up immediately. “Right, sorry.” He took the man’s hand and helped him upright. “I’m really sorry for startling you.”
The brunette gave him a once over with his eyes. “Do you always make it a habit of wandering into other’s homes unannounced?”
Arthur would have been annoyed but he saw the twinkling in the man’s eyes and the makings of a grin on his face. “Gwaine and Ganieda gave me a key for emergencies. And it’s not really an emergency right now, but I thought I’d just wait for them to get home. I wasn’t expecting company, especially not of the half-naked variety.”
The man with the alarmingly beautiful blue eyes looked down and his cheeks got very red. “I forgot I wasn’t wearing…much. This is a little embarrassing.”
“Don’t worry I’ve seen worse.”
The stranger looked up and grinned at Arthur. “Were you checking me out?”
“What?” Arthur’s eyes practically bulged out of his head. “No.” He lied. “I just meant that I’ve walked in on Gwaine naked before, so this isn’t quite as bad. I wasn’t looking at you. I mean, I was, am looking at you and can see you are not wearing much, that much is clear…” Arthur stopped talking and looked up. The half-naked stranger had a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. “Alright, I think I’m going to stop talking. Could I trouble you for a glass of water?” The man nodded and Arthur took a seat at the kitchen table.
The man handed Arthur the glass of water. “I’m not usually like this. I’m just…” He trailed off, making a vague gesture with his hands, trying to find the right words.
“Having trouble completing sentences?” The man finished for Arthur.
Arthur narrowed his eyes at him but laughed. “Who are you anyway? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude but Ganieda and Gwaine don’t have many overnight guests.”
The brunette stuck out his hand. “I’m Merlin, Ganieda’s brother.”
Arthur shook the man’s hand and nodded. “Oh.” He cocked his head to the side and looked Merlin again. He could definitely see the resemblance – now that he was looking at his face and not his ass. “I see it now. You do look very similar. She’s does look like a female version of you.”
Merlin chuckled. “Don’t let her hear you say that.”
“Why?”
“Because people always say that she looks like female version of me. They almost never say I look like a male Ganieda. She thinks it’s sexist or something.”
Arthur laughed. “That does sound like her.”
Merlin gave Arthur an appraising look. “You’re Arthur, right?”
Arthur was a little surprised at his guess. “How’d you know that? Are you psychic, too?”
Merlin let loose a blinding smile. “No. She just talks about you a lot. She said and I quote, ‘He looks like a blond Greek God.’ And I can see what she means.”
It was Arthur’s turn to blush. He grasped for something to say. “What else did she say about me?”
“Are you fishing for more compliments?” He grinned good-naturedly and went on before Arthur had a chance to respond. “She says that underneath a sometimes prat-ish exterior, you are a very sweet person. And that you’ve been through a lot.”
Arthur nodded and looked down. “I guess she didn’t tell you what she meant by ‘a lot.’”
“No, she told me you had cancer.” Merlin said matter-of-factly.
“Oh.” Arthur said in surprise. “I assumed didn’t know you. You didn’t give me the face.”
Merlin crinkled his nose. “The face?”
“I call it ‘cancer face.’ It’s just that pitying look that most people get when they know about the cancer. I can see some people just staring at me waiting for me to drop dead at any moment.” Arthur said, with a lot more bitterness than he intended.
“Well, I won’t give you the face.” Merlin assured. “My mum didn’t have cancer, but she had a stroke and spent a lot of time in the hospital before she died. She hated when people would give her ‘The Face’ too. She really appreciated that I never did. How could I pity her? She was the strongest person I’ve ever known and fought right until the end. I don’t pity someone like that.”
Arthur opened and closed his mouth a few times, not knowing what to say. Ganieda had never mentioned any of this to them. “I’m sorry, Merlin.”
Merlin smiled. “Now look who has The Face.”
Arthur smiled sheepishly. “Okay, I guess I’m a hypocrite.”
Merlin leaned forward and put his hand on Arthur’s. “I like a man who has a few flaws.”
Arthur stared into his eyes for a few moments before looking away. He had to clear his throat a couple of times before speaking. “Um, do you know when Gwaine’s going to be back?”
“No idea. Do you need something important? I could call him.”
“No, that’s ok. It’s not really important. It was just something Gwaine asked me to do. It’s kind of silly.” Arthur explained.
“I know we just met, but I’ve been told that I’m an excellent listener. And I don’t really have anything left to do today after cleaning up this sty. I promise not to laugh.” Merlin touched his ear. “With these ears, I have no room to judge.”
Arthur chuckled loudly. “Now that you point them out, how could I not have noticed those enormous-
“Hey!” Merlin shouted. “I’m trying to be nice.”
“I know.” Arthur said seriously. He looked at Merlin nervously. He really did believe that Merlin was an excellent listener. He felt as comfortable around him as people he’d known for years. He knew he wouldn’t laugh, so what harm could it do. “Alright, Gwaine thinks that I should make a bucket list.”
“Not surprising. He has a bit of unhealthy fixation with Jack Nicholson.” Merlin joked.
“I know. I’ve seen The Witches of Eastwick more than I’d care to.” Arthur smiled.
“Anyway, I decided to do it to humor him. But I find some things on the list kind of embarrassing. I’m 22 and I don’t even know how to swim.”
“Is learning to swim on your list?”
“Yes.”
Merlin grinned. “Then you’re in luck. I’ve been swimming since I was three. I was even a lifeguard for two summers in Ealdor.”
Arthur looked at Merlin somewhat incredulously. “You want to teach me how to swim?”
“Why not?”
Arthur pondered this for a moment and soon shrugged. “Why not.”
~*~
And that’s how Arthur found himself spending his afternoon being taught how to swim by a man he’d met less than two hours before. A man that he was developing quite a crush on. He had taken Merlin back to the mansion he lived in with his father. They spent four hours in Arthur’s indoor swimming pool with Merlin trying to just teach Arthur the basics. He wasn’t looking to become a champion swimmer, just to be able to go from one end of the pool to the other.
Things had started off a bit rocky. It took Merlin fifteen minutes to get Arthur in the water. Arthur had neglected to mention that he had a bad experience in the water when he was nine and was more than a little apprehensive about getting back in the water. Merlin had gently and calmly led Arthur into the water by assuring him and promising he wouldn’t leave his side.
First they practiced floating on Arthur’s back and stomach in the shallow end, which came quite easily to Arthur. Then they practiced breathing underwater, which didn’t come quite so easily to Arthur. At one point, Merlin almost put a stop to the proceedings when Arthur almost choked on too much water. But once they had started Arthur was determined to go on.
After that they quickly proceeded to go through various kicks and Arthur learned how to tread water. Merlin was very encouraging throughout, telling Arthur that he was a natural. Once Arthur learned how to do a backstroke crawl maneuver in the water, Merlin asked him if he would be comfortable going briefly in the deep end. Arthur was hesitant, but agreed. As Merlin had promised he never left Arthur’s side.
“Let me try one alone,” Arthur asked after he swam a couple of laps side by side with Merlin.
Merlin bit his lip and hesitated. ‘I don’t know, Arthur. You’re doing amazing. But maybe you should go a little slower.”
“I don’t mean to play the cancer card, but I don’t quite have time to go slower. That’s the whole point of this list. You’re here. I trust you. If you think something is wrong, I know you’ll handle it.”
Merlin still wasn’t budging. After a minute, he finally relented. “Alright. But I’m not stepping out of the pool. You go from one end and back and that’s it.”
Arthur nodded in agreement. Merlin swam a few feet away. Arthur swam slowly to one end. He took a deep breath and started swimming. Merlin almost had a heart attack when Arthur faltered briefly in the middle of the pool, but Arthur quickly recovered. Arthur whooped with joy when he made it all the way across. He swam back to Merlin, smiling all the way. “I told you I could do it.”
Merlin nodded. “Yes, you did.”
“Perhaps you should listen to me more often.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, prat.” Merlin surprised Arthur with a hug. Arthur stiffened for a second, but quickly welcomed the embrace.
Soon after they climbed out of the pool, Merlin grabbed one of the fluffy white towels and started to dry Arthur off. He started with Arthur’s hair. He massaged the towel softly through Arthur’s hair. Arthur almost closed his eyes, enjoying how Merlin was massaging his scalp. Merlin moved the towel down to Arthur’s face, gently scrubbing Arthur’s cheek. Arthur unconsciously stepped a little closer. Merlin’s eyes locked on his and Arthur’s breath hitched. He couldn’t help it as his eyes constantly darted to Merlin’s lips. He’d never wanted to kiss someone so badly. His intense attraction to Merlin was starting to scare him. Arthur took a step back, taking the towel from Merlin’s hand. “I-I don’t mean to rush you at all. But this took a little longer than I expected. I have some things for work I need to attend to.”
Merlin frowned, not hiding his disappointment, but he nodded quickly. “I understand. I really had a good time, Arthur. You’re the best student I’ve ever had.”
“I’m probably the only student you’ve ever had.”
Merlin smiled. “It’s still true. I’m glad you get to cross one thing off your list. Perhaps we can work on crossing more things off the list together.”
I certainly have some ideas, Arthur thought. Arthur turned slightly away from Merlin to hide his blush. He turned back to Merlin and simply said, “Perhaps.”
~*~
It had been over a week since Arthur had seen Merlin. Arthur had been feeling miserable, both physically and mentally. He had spent a few sleepless nights wanking to memories of Merlin’s eyes and his lips and his arms around him. He had a fever one day and couldn’t get out of bed. He spent the entire time thinking about Merlin. He couldn’t get him out of his head. When he was sick, Lance came over to check on him and Arthur tried to ask as subtly as possible if Lance had met Merlin or knew anything about him. But Lance had only met Merlin once and didn’t know anything Merlin didn’t.
The next day, Arthur was feeling much better and received a call from Ganieda. She spoke in hushed tones and seemed in a hurry to get off the phone. She said she’d received a vision and needed to see him immediately. While Arthur was skeptical of her “powers” her tone had freaked him out enough to rush over. He arrived at her flat and knocked on the door three times. He was about to knock again when Merlin answered. He couldn’t help the huge grin that spread over his face, which became even wider when he saw that Merlin was just as happy to see him. “Hello.”
“Hi.”
“Is Ganieda here?”
“No, she went off flying off to destinations unknown with Gwaine.” Merlin explained. He opened the door wider for Arthur to step through.
Arthur came in, scratching his head in confusion. “Are you sure? She called me and said she had something important to tell me.” Just then Arthur’s cell phone buzzed. It was Ganieda. “Ganieda what are you-“
She cut him off. “What I wanted to tell you was that my brother is the sweetest, funniest, most beautiful man you could ever hope to meet. And if you don’t bugger his brains out there’s something wrong with you.” She hung up.
Arthur shook his head and turned to Merlin. “Your sister is so spooky.”
Merlin laughed. “That’s why I was always considered the good twin.” He took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck. “I think this may be my fault.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because I may have mentioned you once or twice…or twenty times.” He looked up at Arthur hesitantly. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Arthur gulped. “Oh…”
“Okay, perhaps you aren’t the most articulate person in the world,” Merlin teased. “But I still want you.” All of a sudden he was right in front of Arthur, inches away from his lips. “What do you want, Arthur?”
“I wa-wan-want you, too.” Before Merlin could kiss him, Arthur backed away. “But I don’t want to sleep with you just to cross something off my list?”
“Would that be the only reason? Do you find me attractive?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to fuck me?”
Arthur whimpered. “God, yes.”
Merlin inched closer to Arthur. “Then that’s all that matters.”
Arthur’s resolve was holding on by the barest thread. “But we hardly know anything about each other.”
“I know that you’re funny. I know that you’re smart. I know that you’re the most gorgeous man I’ve ever met. And I know that every night since I’ve met you I’ve dreamt about fucking you until I come until I give you everything I am, and still go back for more. Is there anything else you need to know?”
Arthur was struck dumb and mute for about five seconds before squeaking, “No.” He launched himself at Merlin, their mouths meeting in a deep and frenzied kiss. Merlin took Arthur’s bottom lip between his teeth and sucked it into his mouth and then ran his tongue over it, before licking his way inside Arthur’s mouth. Arthur moaned and grabbed Merlin’s thighs and lifted Merlin up. Merlin wrapped his legs around him. This surge of adrenaline from Arthur carried them all the way to Merlin’s bedroom. They continued to kiss frantically their tongues clashing like swords on the battlefield.
After that, Merlin took complete control. He undressed them quickly and straddled Arthur’s thighs. He trailed wet, open mouth kisses up and down Arthur’s chest. Arthur thought he might literally explode. His heart was racing and he was feeling such an intense desire he thought it might come bursting out of his chest. Just when Arthur thought it couldn’t get any more intense, Merlin turned him around, spread his cheeks, and prepared his hole with continuous strokes of his tongue. Arthur’s toes curled and he gripped the bed sheets between his teeth. Arthur was so close to coming, but before that could happen Merlin turned him around to face him.
He stroked the side of Arthur’s face and nipped at his mouth with tiny kisses. “I haven’t had sex in a while and I’ve always been careful and I’ve been tested.”
“And I’m a…inexperienced.” Arthur said nervously.
“Do you want me to use a condom?”
Arthur looked deep into Merlin’s eyes and realized he would trust this man with his life and wasn’t scared in the least. “No, I want to feel you.”
Merlin smiled and lined up his cock to Arthur’s hole and entered Arthur slowly. He kept his gaze on Arthur the whole time, gauging his response and asked Arthur if he was ok. Arthur nodded. The pain was intense, but brief. It was a strange feeling; such an intense pain, but somehow amazingly perfect. When Merlin was fully inside he started to move slowly. Arthur could tell from the look on his face that Merlin was holding back. Arthur ran his hands down Merlin’s back and licked a stripe from Merlin’s collar bone to his mouth. “I want more. I can take it.”
Merlin looked down, and seemed unsure. But when Arthur nodded he started to increase his pace until his hips were slamming into Arthur’s. “Oh, fuck,” he cried.
Arthur moaned Merlin’s name repeatedly. He ran a hand through Merlin’s hair, gripping his sweaty hair through his fingers and other hand gripped Merlin’s shoulder. “Fuck me, Merlin! God, don’t stop!” Arthur was slightly surprised at how vocal he was being.
“Arthur, Arthur, Arthur….come for me Arthur!” Merlin grabbed Arthur’s legs and placed them atop his shoulders, and leaned forward. He continued to pound into Arthur relentlessly.
“I’m coming! I’m coming! I’m-“Arthur let out a prolonged groan. He could feel Merlin still thrusting into him through his shudders. Then he felt Merlin coming inside him. Merlin slumped on top of him briefly, before rolling over to his side, both were gasping for air. A minute or so passed, and then Merlin wrapped Arthur in his arms and stroked his hair until he fell asleep.
~*~
An hour later, Arthur woke to Merlin gazing at him. He stretched before looking at Merlin. “I should find you looming over me and staring creepy. But you’re too adorable to be creepy.” Arthur shook his head and laughed. “God, what has happened to me?”
“It’s possible I may have literally fucked your brains out.”
“I think that’s quite possible.” Arthur chuckled and buried his head in his pillow. When he looked up, Merlin was still staring.
“You know,” Merlin started hesitantly. “I have a video camera.”
Arthur raised an eyebrow at him. “Uh, I just had sex for the first time. Perhaps we can hold off on kinky sex tapes until the fourth or fifth time.”
Merlin shook his head. “I don’t want to make a sex tape, dollophead. I spent a lot of time after my mom died trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. And I decided that I really want to make films, especially documentaries. And I’ve been trying to come up with subjects to explore. And one of my ideas was to make a film with a series of confession made by people right after they’ve had sex.”
“Just how many people were you thinking of having sex with to make this film?” Arthur said, with a smidgeon of jealousy peeking through.
“See, that’s one of the things I’ve gotten stuck on. I don’t want to have to have sex with multiple partners. And I don’t want to recruit people to film themselves having sex. But I was thinking that maybe it doesn’t have to be a series of people. Maybe it could just be one person’s experiences after sex.” Merlin explained. “I just think that after sex is one of the times that you are the most clear headed and most honest.”
Arthur thought about it for a moment. This seemed to be something important to Merlin. And while he wasn’t exactly comfortable with the idea of being the subject of an after sex confessions movie, just thinking of his father’s reaction, made him chuckle and cringe at the same time. Arthur decided to try this out at least once. “Ok.”
“Ok?” When Arthur nodded, Merlin smiled. He quickly got up, grabbed his camera, and sat down besides Arthur and after getting it set up, pointed the camera at Arthur. “You can start whenever you feel ready.”
Arthur sighed and tried opening his mind and coming up with something to share. After a few minutes, a nagging thought that he’d been having surfaced and he decided to share it with Merlin. “I don’t know if I believe in God. I think I do, but I guess you can never be sure and I don’t have enough faith yet. But I do think that perhaps God is punishing me, that’s why the cancer’s back. When I first got cancer, I promised that if I were to survive that I would live my life every day as if it were my last, that I would do everything I ever dreamed of. I was in remission for a year, and I didn’t do anything. I’m still living with my father and letting him control my life. I haven’t figured out anything that I want for myself, for my future. Perhaps that’s a good thing. What’s the point of planning for a future I may never have?” He laughed mirthlessly. “I got a miracle and I wasted it. I don’t think I’m going to get another one again.” He looked away and tried not to let the tears fall. Merlin put down his camera and just wrapped Arthur in his arms.
~*~
After the video camera incident, Arthur spent less and less time with Merlin. He still worked on crossing things off his list. He had started taking flying lessons, since one of the things he wanted was to be able to fly a plane. Merlin took the classes with him. But they hadn’t had sex again. But they still made out occasionally. Arthur found Merlin as irresistible as ever. But he felt that distancing himself would be best. He didn’t know what he was thinking starting anything up with Merlin. There was a good chance he would be dead fairly soon and he didn’t want Merlin to have to go through that.
He also found that he was feeling incredibly weird in general. Something was wrong, and he was worried. It wasn’t the nausea and tiredness, he was used to that. But there was something going on that had nothing to do with the cancer. He just knew it. He was moody one moment, and flying high the next. They’d managed to hire a new housekeeper at the mansion and subsequently lost her due to Arthur’s behavior, which his father took great pleasure in gloating to Arthur about (“This one’s on you.”) He decided he would talk to his doctor about it at his next appointment.
It was time for his treatment to start. He was trying not to put too many expectations on it. He was trying not to think negatively, but wasn’t positive about it either. They arrived at the doctor’s office. One of the rare perks to being Uther Pendragon’s son is they could afford the best private physicians available and had minimal wait time when they had appointments. But today they had been waiting for half an hour. Arthur stormed over to the doctor’s secretary. “Would you inform that idiot that we have been waiting out here for a half hour. This is Uther Pendragon and his son and if he doesn’t get his lazy arse out here, there will be hell to pay.” The white-haired woman, Alice, looked
frightened, and rushed back to get the doctor.
“While that was a truly impressive display of properly throwing your weight around, you prefer to leave such confrontations to me? What has gotten into you, Arthur?” Uther asked with some concern.
“I don’t know.” Arthur answered and put his hand to his chest. “I just want you to know father, that I am not pissed this time.”
“What?”
Arthur proceeded to pass out.
Part 2
Author/Artist:
geekslavePairing(s): Arthur/Merlin, Ganieda (OFC)/Gwaine, Lancelot/Gwen
Characters: Merlin, Arthur, Gwaine, Ganieda (OFC), Gwen, Lancelot, Gaius, Uther, Kilgarrah
Word Count: 35,554
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Just before receiving vital treatment for cancer, Arthur meets Merlin and his life is turned upside down when one night with Merlin results in an unforeseen pregnancy. To protect the baby, Arthur refuses the treatment.
Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
Warnings: Mpreg, angst, lots of talk of cancer, fluff.
Notes: Written for the
merlinmpreg fest. Special thanks to my beta dustfinger223. I'm not a doctor just play one while writing fic. :) I did a lot of research, but I'm sure I didn't get everything right.Arthur watched his friends and smiled. Gwen and Lancelot’s annual New Year’s party was a success as usual. They had just counted down to midnight and the couples had their New Year’s kiss, some going on a little longer than necessary. Gwen and Lancelot watched Gwaine and Ganieda’s somewhat pornographic display, with a mixture of fondness and apprehension. Everything was the same as it always was. It gave him some comfort to know that his friends would always have this, even if he weren’t around to enjoy it.
Before he could get too maudlin, Ganieda sashayed over with a big grin. She threw her arm around him. “I thought you knew the rules. There are no frowns allowed at a Gwen and Lancelot soiree.” Arthur smiled wanly. “I think we forgot to say thank you for the limo ride.”
This got a genuine smile from Arthur. “I know how you like to arrive in style.” Gwaine and Ganieda always liked arriving to a party in a limousine, dressed to the nines. Ganieda said it felt like going to the BAFTAs.
“You are a kind and generous friend, Arthur Pendragon.” She smiled brightly at him, before turning suddenly solemn. She tucked a lock of her dark brown hair behind her ear. “You can tell them, you know.”
Arthur furrowed his brow at her. “Tell who what?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, Arthur. It doesn’t suit you.”
Arthur continued to look bemused. Recognition suddenly dawned on him and he rolled his eyes. “Right. How am I always forgetting you’re a bloody psychic?”
She sighed. “I don’t blame you. It’s just one of my many talents.”
Ganieda claimed to have magic. She was one of the only people Arthur knew who had it. Arthur was admittedly a little skeptical. It was something he had trouble believing without proof. While a lot of Ganieda’s predictions came true, not all of them did. Whenever a failed prediction occurred Ganieda said it wasn’t her fault. She said that she only saw one of many possible futures and she couldn’t always control what happened. Arthur turned and walked into Gwen and Lance’s small kitchen, more of a kitchenette really and fiddled with the hand on the refrigerator. “I can’t say anything to them. This is supposed to be a celebration. This isn’t exactly the most festive of news.”
“No one will care. This is going to be a hard year and you need your friends."
Arthur sighed and was about to reply when Gwen interrupted. "What are you two doing in here?" She raised an eyebrow dramatically. "You weren't snogging were you? You know Gwaine would be disappointed...
"...That we didn't invite him to join." All three laughed loudly.
“Come on.” Gwen put her arms around both Arthur and Ganieda. “It’s time for the question of the night.” Arthur groaned inwardly. Arthur loved Gwen and her predictability but he not in any mood for what he knew was coming.
Everyone gathered in Gwen and Lance’s sparsely decorated living room. Both Gwen and Lance were students, she was soon to be a qualified teacher and Lance had just graduated medical school, and couldn’t afford much. Gwen and Lance shared the black leather sofa. Ganieda and Gwaine sat on the futon by the coffee table in the center of the room and Arthur took the black arm chair. Gwen looked around the room. “I know everyone knows what I’m going to ask, but I’m going to do it anyway. It’s tradition and I’m nothing if not traditional.”
“Says the woman living in sin with her boyfriend.” Gwaine teased. Ganieda kicked his shin. “Ow! Gwen knows I’m only teasing. Besides, I think living in sin is the only rational way to live. Marriage is such a-
Ganieda clamped her hand over his mouth before Gwaine could yet again go on an anti-marriage tirade. “As you were saying, Gwen?”
“Yes. Before I was so rudely interrupted,” she winked at Gwaine. “I was going to ask everyone to say what is the most important thing that they hope to achieve this year. Since I asked the question, I’ll start. After getting my Postgraduate Certificate in Education, I hope that I can find a job here in London.” She raised her wine glass and toasted. “Cheers.”
Lancelot went next.” I will finally be completing my Foundation Training and hope to join my preferred Foundation School.” He took a sip of champagne as well.
“I’m hoping that I can convince my brother to come and stay with me and stop running away from his problems.” She smiled sadly. “I miss him.” Gwaine put his arm around her and kissed her on top of the head as she took a sip of her drink. Gwen squeezed her hand sympathetically. No one had met Ganieda’s twin brother Merlin. He had left before Gwaine had started going out with Ganieda.
Gwaine chugged his drink and stood up. “I really, really hope to get Ganieda to reconsider the sexual position that she refuses to do. And, I know you’re wondering, I’m not talking about a-” Ganieda clapped her hand over his mouth again while everyone else groaned, with Lance putting his hands over Gwen’s ears. “Too much?” Gwaine feigned innocence.
“And that’s your yearlong goal?” Gwen asked in disbelief.
“I can tell you that’ll be a lifelong goal because it is never going to happen.” Ganieda interjected.
Gwen laughed and was shaking her head as she turned to Arthur. “Sorry you have to follow that, Arthur.”
Arthur just nodded and absently and took a deep breath. He had no idea what to say. It was rare for him to be tongue tied. The only time he got like that was around his father. “Um, for this year I...” He faltered and looked at Ganieda, who silently nodded. “I have cancer.” It was like deja vu watching the smiles slowly fade from their faces and the furrowed brows. “I suppose it would be more accurate to say the cancer is back. I’m no longer in remission. I’m scheduled for radiation therapy in eight weeks. I have a 30-40% chance of survival.” He paused and glanced at his friends, who still wore matching stunned faces. “So I guess my goal for the year is...to survive.” He picked up his glass. “Uh...cheers?”
~*~
The reactions this time weren’t that different from the last time he told them he had cancer. After consoling a sobbing Gwen, he was enveloped in a ten minute hug by Lance. While it should have been uncomfortable, Lance’s voice was so soothing and presence so comforting, Arthur felt better than he had in weeks. Plus, he had to admit he’d had a huge crush on Lance years ago. Ganieda was sitting by a still speechless Gwaine. Gwaine speechless was certainly a rare occurrence.
After finally extricating himself from Lance, Arthur walked over to Gwaine and sat by his side. A few seconds passed and Gwaine turned to him. “I have something to say.”
“I knew that wouldn’t last long.”
“As someone who has saved your life in the past, you owe it to listen to me.”
Arthur resisted rolling his eyes. Gwaine always liked to take credit for Arthur’s initial diagnosis. When they were 16, Gwaine had smuggled in a bottle of vodka into their prep school. Despite, having a limited amount had severely negative reaction, throwing up profusely and then passing out. After a physical exam and some blood tests Arthur was diagnosed with cancer. Only Gwaine could take credit for saving someone by landing them in the hospital. But Arthur did have to admit that he did feel enormously grateful to Gwaine. Not just for inadvertently leading to his diagnosis, but for always sticking by him. He sighed and looked at Gwaine. “Dazzle me with your wisdom.”
Gwaine grinned. “I told you this last time, but you didn’t listen. So I’m going to say it again, two words, bucket list.”
This time Arthur did roll his eyes. “And my answer is the same as last time - you’re an idiot. I’m rich, Gwaine. There’s not really a whole lot I haven’t had the opportunity to do.”
“It’s not about your money, princess. You may have had the opportunity but you’ve never taken advantage. Need I remind you that you’re still a virgin?”
Arthur’s face went extremely red and he looked around to make sure no one else heard. “That is none of your business.”
Gwaine clapped him on the shoulder. “Look, it’s not your fault. You have tyrant for a father, who acts more like your jailer than your dad.”
Arthur didn’t bristle at Gwaine’s comment about his father. Not only was it mostly true, but he was used to people calling his father things a lot worse than tyrant. Being Uther Pendragon’s son in this town was not easy. “My father has nothing to do with this, Gwaine.”
“Then why not do it?” Gwaine asked.
“I don’t know. Perhaps I don’t want to make up a list of things to do that I’ll either be too sick or too dead to complete.”
Gwaine looked stricken for half a second, before looking Arthur squarely in the eye. “You are not going to die. And I refuse to let you continue to let you act like you’re dead already. You’re going to make that list. Got it?”
Arthur blinked at him. When Gwaine got serious it was more than a little unsettling. He found himself nodding.
~*~
Arthur felt completely stupid. He still thought the list was a silly idea, but since it meant so much to Gwaine he tried to honestly come up with things. He was surprised to find that there a few things that he came up with that he didn’t realize he really wanted. After a couple of hours at it, he looked at the list and thought only one thing: “You are such a girl, Pendragon.” He picked up his pen to start scratching some things off when there was a brief, curt knock on the door. Knowing it was his father, Arthur hid the list in his desk drawer. He opened the door to his father. “Hello.”
Uther nodded curtly, he had his thick organizer in his hand. “Hello. Do we need to go over your schedule for tomorrow? You know you’ll be at the office at 6 AM.”
Arthur inwardly groaned. His father had a habit of asking questions and never giving anyone a chance to answer. “Yes. I know that.” He had been working at his father’s law firm for over a year now. His father insisted that Arthur work his way up in the firm, even though Arthur had made never indicated he had an interest in going to law school. “I’ll be working with Mr. Monmouth, helping him go through the depositions. Then I have a doctor’s appointment at 2. And there are some interviews at 4 for a new housekeeper.” Uther was a ridiculous perfectionist and none of their household staff managed to last long before getting fed up and summarily telling Uther where he could shove the job.
“What are your plans for this evening?”
“I’m going over to Ganieda and Gwaine’s.” Arthur answered.
It was almost imperceptible, but Arthur could see Uther’s eyes roll heavenward. Arthur knew Uther had no use for his friends. He seemed to have an especially large amount of disdain for Ganieda. “Very well. Call me after your appointment and let me know how it went.”
“I will.” Uther hovered awkwardly in the doorway, looking like he wanted to say something, but he left without saying anything more.
~*~
A couple of days later, he made his way to Gwaine and Ganieda’s flat. He hadn’t been to make it over the other day because work at the office took a lot longer than expected. He knocked on their door and once again contemplated whether he really wanted to show Gwaine the list he made or not. He still thought some of the items were embarrassing. After knocking a second time, Arthur took out his key and decided to wait. He was feeling a bit tired. As he walked in, he looked around slowly, wondering if he was in the right place. The place was clean.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement, and walked towards the kitchen. As he got closer he heard a man’s voice singing. It was definitely not Gwaine. He walked through the archway and immediately halted in place. The man was half-naked, wearing black boxer briefs and mopping the floor. He had his iPod ear buds in and was doing a somewhat off-key, and loud, rendition of Ellie Goulding’s “Lights.” The tall dark haired man was skinny, but had well-defined muscles, especially in his upper body. He had broad shoulders and while they weren’t exactly six-packs, his abs were very respectable.
The man dipped the mop in the plastic bucket by his feet and dragged the mop across the floor. “Cause they’re calling, calling, calling me home. Calling, calling, calling home. You show the lights that stop me turn to stone…” Arthur was too caught up between wanting to laugh at the man’s enthusiastic singing, while being hypnotized by his wiggling bottom that he didn’t notice Merlin start to turn around until it was too late. The tall stranger was so startled by Arthur’s presence that he accidentally knocked over his bucket, and taking an ill-advised step back, fell hard on his ass.
Getting over his shock immediately Arthur rushed forward. “Are you alright?”
“No, I’m not alright. I think I broke my ass.” The man gingerly rubbed his posterior.
“That would be a shame.” Arthur spoke without thinking.
The man looked up at him sharply and raised an eyebrow at him. His expression was slowly turning from annoyed to curious.
Arthur almost lost his breath. This man had the bluest eyes he’d ever seen. People sometimes complimented Arthur on how pretty his eyes were, always telling him he had the same eyes as his mother, but Arthur had nothing on this man. He was mesmerized by the beauty of the color and the kindness in his eyes. He was startled when the man cleared his throat. “I don’t mean to interrupt your day dreaming but might you give me a hand up?”
Arthur shot up immediately. “Right, sorry.” He took the man’s hand and helped him upright. “I’m really sorry for startling you.”
The brunette gave him a once over with his eyes. “Do you always make it a habit of wandering into other’s homes unannounced?”
Arthur would have been annoyed but he saw the twinkling in the man’s eyes and the makings of a grin on his face. “Gwaine and Ganieda gave me a key for emergencies. And it’s not really an emergency right now, but I thought I’d just wait for them to get home. I wasn’t expecting company, especially not of the half-naked variety.”
The man with the alarmingly beautiful blue eyes looked down and his cheeks got very red. “I forgot I wasn’t wearing…much. This is a little embarrassing.”
“Don’t worry I’ve seen worse.”
The stranger looked up and grinned at Arthur. “Were you checking me out?”
“What?” Arthur’s eyes practically bulged out of his head. “No.” He lied. “I just meant that I’ve walked in on Gwaine naked before, so this isn’t quite as bad. I wasn’t looking at you. I mean, I was, am looking at you and can see you are not wearing much, that much is clear…” Arthur stopped talking and looked up. The half-naked stranger had a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. “Alright, I think I’m going to stop talking. Could I trouble you for a glass of water?” The man nodded and Arthur took a seat at the kitchen table.
The man handed Arthur the glass of water. “I’m not usually like this. I’m just…” He trailed off, making a vague gesture with his hands, trying to find the right words.
“Having trouble completing sentences?” The man finished for Arthur.
Arthur narrowed his eyes at him but laughed. “Who are you anyway? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude but Ganieda and Gwaine don’t have many overnight guests.”
The brunette stuck out his hand. “I’m Merlin, Ganieda’s brother.”
Arthur shook the man’s hand and nodded. “Oh.” He cocked his head to the side and looked Merlin again. He could definitely see the resemblance – now that he was looking at his face and not his ass. “I see it now. You do look very similar. She’s does look like a female version of you.”
Merlin chuckled. “Don’t let her hear you say that.”
“Why?”
“Because people always say that she looks like female version of me. They almost never say I look like a male Ganieda. She thinks it’s sexist or something.”
Arthur laughed. “That does sound like her.”
Merlin gave Arthur an appraising look. “You’re Arthur, right?”
Arthur was a little surprised at his guess. “How’d you know that? Are you psychic, too?”
Merlin let loose a blinding smile. “No. She just talks about you a lot. She said and I quote, ‘He looks like a blond Greek God.’ And I can see what she means.”
It was Arthur’s turn to blush. He grasped for something to say. “What else did she say about me?”
“Are you fishing for more compliments?” He grinned good-naturedly and went on before Arthur had a chance to respond. “She says that underneath a sometimes prat-ish exterior, you are a very sweet person. And that you’ve been through a lot.”
Arthur nodded and looked down. “I guess she didn’t tell you what she meant by ‘a lot.’”
“No, she told me you had cancer.” Merlin said matter-of-factly.
“Oh.” Arthur said in surprise. “I assumed didn’t know you. You didn’t give me the face.”
Merlin crinkled his nose. “The face?”
“I call it ‘cancer face.’ It’s just that pitying look that most people get when they know about the cancer. I can see some people just staring at me waiting for me to drop dead at any moment.” Arthur said, with a lot more bitterness than he intended.
“Well, I won’t give you the face.” Merlin assured. “My mum didn’t have cancer, but she had a stroke and spent a lot of time in the hospital before she died. She hated when people would give her ‘The Face’ too. She really appreciated that I never did. How could I pity her? She was the strongest person I’ve ever known and fought right until the end. I don’t pity someone like that.”
Arthur opened and closed his mouth a few times, not knowing what to say. Ganieda had never mentioned any of this to them. “I’m sorry, Merlin.”
Merlin smiled. “Now look who has The Face.”
Arthur smiled sheepishly. “Okay, I guess I’m a hypocrite.”
Merlin leaned forward and put his hand on Arthur’s. “I like a man who has a few flaws.”
Arthur stared into his eyes for a few moments before looking away. He had to clear his throat a couple of times before speaking. “Um, do you know when Gwaine’s going to be back?”
“No idea. Do you need something important? I could call him.”
“No, that’s ok. It’s not really important. It was just something Gwaine asked me to do. It’s kind of silly.” Arthur explained.
“I know we just met, but I’ve been told that I’m an excellent listener. And I don’t really have anything left to do today after cleaning up this sty. I promise not to laugh.” Merlin touched his ear. “With these ears, I have no room to judge.”
Arthur chuckled loudly. “Now that you point them out, how could I not have noticed those enormous-
“Hey!” Merlin shouted. “I’m trying to be nice.”
“I know.” Arthur said seriously. He looked at Merlin nervously. He really did believe that Merlin was an excellent listener. He felt as comfortable around him as people he’d known for years. He knew he wouldn’t laugh, so what harm could it do. “Alright, Gwaine thinks that I should make a bucket list.”
“Not surprising. He has a bit of unhealthy fixation with Jack Nicholson.” Merlin joked.
“I know. I’ve seen The Witches of Eastwick more than I’d care to.” Arthur smiled.
“Anyway, I decided to do it to humor him. But I find some things on the list kind of embarrassing. I’m 22 and I don’t even know how to swim.”
“Is learning to swim on your list?”
“Yes.”
Merlin grinned. “Then you’re in luck. I’ve been swimming since I was three. I was even a lifeguard for two summers in Ealdor.”
Arthur looked at Merlin somewhat incredulously. “You want to teach me how to swim?”
“Why not?”
Arthur pondered this for a moment and soon shrugged. “Why not.”
~*~
And that’s how Arthur found himself spending his afternoon being taught how to swim by a man he’d met less than two hours before. A man that he was developing quite a crush on. He had taken Merlin back to the mansion he lived in with his father. They spent four hours in Arthur’s indoor swimming pool with Merlin trying to just teach Arthur the basics. He wasn’t looking to become a champion swimmer, just to be able to go from one end of the pool to the other.
Things had started off a bit rocky. It took Merlin fifteen minutes to get Arthur in the water. Arthur had neglected to mention that he had a bad experience in the water when he was nine and was more than a little apprehensive about getting back in the water. Merlin had gently and calmly led Arthur into the water by assuring him and promising he wouldn’t leave his side.
First they practiced floating on Arthur’s back and stomach in the shallow end, which came quite easily to Arthur. Then they practiced breathing underwater, which didn’t come quite so easily to Arthur. At one point, Merlin almost put a stop to the proceedings when Arthur almost choked on too much water. But once they had started Arthur was determined to go on.
After that they quickly proceeded to go through various kicks and Arthur learned how to tread water. Merlin was very encouraging throughout, telling Arthur that he was a natural. Once Arthur learned how to do a backstroke crawl maneuver in the water, Merlin asked him if he would be comfortable going briefly in the deep end. Arthur was hesitant, but agreed. As Merlin had promised he never left Arthur’s side.
“Let me try one alone,” Arthur asked after he swam a couple of laps side by side with Merlin.
Merlin bit his lip and hesitated. ‘I don’t know, Arthur. You’re doing amazing. But maybe you should go a little slower.”
“I don’t mean to play the cancer card, but I don’t quite have time to go slower. That’s the whole point of this list. You’re here. I trust you. If you think something is wrong, I know you’ll handle it.”
Merlin still wasn’t budging. After a minute, he finally relented. “Alright. But I’m not stepping out of the pool. You go from one end and back and that’s it.”
Arthur nodded in agreement. Merlin swam a few feet away. Arthur swam slowly to one end. He took a deep breath and started swimming. Merlin almost had a heart attack when Arthur faltered briefly in the middle of the pool, but Arthur quickly recovered. Arthur whooped with joy when he made it all the way across. He swam back to Merlin, smiling all the way. “I told you I could do it.”
Merlin nodded. “Yes, you did.”
“Perhaps you should listen to me more often.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, prat.” Merlin surprised Arthur with a hug. Arthur stiffened for a second, but quickly welcomed the embrace.
Soon after they climbed out of the pool, Merlin grabbed one of the fluffy white towels and started to dry Arthur off. He started with Arthur’s hair. He massaged the towel softly through Arthur’s hair. Arthur almost closed his eyes, enjoying how Merlin was massaging his scalp. Merlin moved the towel down to Arthur’s face, gently scrubbing Arthur’s cheek. Arthur unconsciously stepped a little closer. Merlin’s eyes locked on his and Arthur’s breath hitched. He couldn’t help it as his eyes constantly darted to Merlin’s lips. He’d never wanted to kiss someone so badly. His intense attraction to Merlin was starting to scare him. Arthur took a step back, taking the towel from Merlin’s hand. “I-I don’t mean to rush you at all. But this took a little longer than I expected. I have some things for work I need to attend to.”
Merlin frowned, not hiding his disappointment, but he nodded quickly. “I understand. I really had a good time, Arthur. You’re the best student I’ve ever had.”
“I’m probably the only student you’ve ever had.”
Merlin smiled. “It’s still true. I’m glad you get to cross one thing off your list. Perhaps we can work on crossing more things off the list together.”
I certainly have some ideas, Arthur thought. Arthur turned slightly away from Merlin to hide his blush. He turned back to Merlin and simply said, “Perhaps.”
~*~
It had been over a week since Arthur had seen Merlin. Arthur had been feeling miserable, both physically and mentally. He had spent a few sleepless nights wanking to memories of Merlin’s eyes and his lips and his arms around him. He had a fever one day and couldn’t get out of bed. He spent the entire time thinking about Merlin. He couldn’t get him out of his head. When he was sick, Lance came over to check on him and Arthur tried to ask as subtly as possible if Lance had met Merlin or knew anything about him. But Lance had only met Merlin once and didn’t know anything Merlin didn’t.
The next day, Arthur was feeling much better and received a call from Ganieda. She spoke in hushed tones and seemed in a hurry to get off the phone. She said she’d received a vision and needed to see him immediately. While Arthur was skeptical of her “powers” her tone had freaked him out enough to rush over. He arrived at her flat and knocked on the door three times. He was about to knock again when Merlin answered. He couldn’t help the huge grin that spread over his face, which became even wider when he saw that Merlin was just as happy to see him. “Hello.”
“Hi.”
“Is Ganieda here?”
“No, she went off flying off to destinations unknown with Gwaine.” Merlin explained. He opened the door wider for Arthur to step through.
Arthur came in, scratching his head in confusion. “Are you sure? She called me and said she had something important to tell me.” Just then Arthur’s cell phone buzzed. It was Ganieda. “Ganieda what are you-“
She cut him off. “What I wanted to tell you was that my brother is the sweetest, funniest, most beautiful man you could ever hope to meet. And if you don’t bugger his brains out there’s something wrong with you.” She hung up.
Arthur shook his head and turned to Merlin. “Your sister is so spooky.”
Merlin laughed. “That’s why I was always considered the good twin.” He took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck. “I think this may be my fault.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because I may have mentioned you once or twice…or twenty times.” He looked up at Arthur hesitantly. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Arthur gulped. “Oh…”
“Okay, perhaps you aren’t the most articulate person in the world,” Merlin teased. “But I still want you.” All of a sudden he was right in front of Arthur, inches away from his lips. “What do you want, Arthur?”
“I wa-wan-want you, too.” Before Merlin could kiss him, Arthur backed away. “But I don’t want to sleep with you just to cross something off my list?”
“Would that be the only reason? Do you find me attractive?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to fuck me?”
Arthur whimpered. “God, yes.”
Merlin inched closer to Arthur. “Then that’s all that matters.”
Arthur’s resolve was holding on by the barest thread. “But we hardly know anything about each other.”
“I know that you’re funny. I know that you’re smart. I know that you’re the most gorgeous man I’ve ever met. And I know that every night since I’ve met you I’ve dreamt about fucking you until I come until I give you everything I am, and still go back for more. Is there anything else you need to know?”
Arthur was struck dumb and mute for about five seconds before squeaking, “No.” He launched himself at Merlin, their mouths meeting in a deep and frenzied kiss. Merlin took Arthur’s bottom lip between his teeth and sucked it into his mouth and then ran his tongue over it, before licking his way inside Arthur’s mouth. Arthur moaned and grabbed Merlin’s thighs and lifted Merlin up. Merlin wrapped his legs around him. This surge of adrenaline from Arthur carried them all the way to Merlin’s bedroom. They continued to kiss frantically their tongues clashing like swords on the battlefield.
After that, Merlin took complete control. He undressed them quickly and straddled Arthur’s thighs. He trailed wet, open mouth kisses up and down Arthur’s chest. Arthur thought he might literally explode. His heart was racing and he was feeling such an intense desire he thought it might come bursting out of his chest. Just when Arthur thought it couldn’t get any more intense, Merlin turned him around, spread his cheeks, and prepared his hole with continuous strokes of his tongue. Arthur’s toes curled and he gripped the bed sheets between his teeth. Arthur was so close to coming, but before that could happen Merlin turned him around to face him.
He stroked the side of Arthur’s face and nipped at his mouth with tiny kisses. “I haven’t had sex in a while and I’ve always been careful and I’ve been tested.”
“And I’m a…inexperienced.” Arthur said nervously.
“Do you want me to use a condom?”
Arthur looked deep into Merlin’s eyes and realized he would trust this man with his life and wasn’t scared in the least. “No, I want to feel you.”
Merlin smiled and lined up his cock to Arthur’s hole and entered Arthur slowly. He kept his gaze on Arthur the whole time, gauging his response and asked Arthur if he was ok. Arthur nodded. The pain was intense, but brief. It was a strange feeling; such an intense pain, but somehow amazingly perfect. When Merlin was fully inside he started to move slowly. Arthur could tell from the look on his face that Merlin was holding back. Arthur ran his hands down Merlin’s back and licked a stripe from Merlin’s collar bone to his mouth. “I want more. I can take it.”
Merlin looked down, and seemed unsure. But when Arthur nodded he started to increase his pace until his hips were slamming into Arthur’s. “Oh, fuck,” he cried.
Arthur moaned Merlin’s name repeatedly. He ran a hand through Merlin’s hair, gripping his sweaty hair through his fingers and other hand gripped Merlin’s shoulder. “Fuck me, Merlin! God, don’t stop!” Arthur was slightly surprised at how vocal he was being.
“Arthur, Arthur, Arthur….come for me Arthur!” Merlin grabbed Arthur’s legs and placed them atop his shoulders, and leaned forward. He continued to pound into Arthur relentlessly.
“I’m coming! I’m coming! I’m-“Arthur let out a prolonged groan. He could feel Merlin still thrusting into him through his shudders. Then he felt Merlin coming inside him. Merlin slumped on top of him briefly, before rolling over to his side, both were gasping for air. A minute or so passed, and then Merlin wrapped Arthur in his arms and stroked his hair until he fell asleep.
~*~
An hour later, Arthur woke to Merlin gazing at him. He stretched before looking at Merlin. “I should find you looming over me and staring creepy. But you’re too adorable to be creepy.” Arthur shook his head and laughed. “God, what has happened to me?”
“It’s possible I may have literally fucked your brains out.”
“I think that’s quite possible.” Arthur chuckled and buried his head in his pillow. When he looked up, Merlin was still staring.
“You know,” Merlin started hesitantly. “I have a video camera.”
Arthur raised an eyebrow at him. “Uh, I just had sex for the first time. Perhaps we can hold off on kinky sex tapes until the fourth or fifth time.”
Merlin shook his head. “I don’t want to make a sex tape, dollophead. I spent a lot of time after my mom died trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. And I decided that I really want to make films, especially documentaries. And I’ve been trying to come up with subjects to explore. And one of my ideas was to make a film with a series of confession made by people right after they’ve had sex.”
“Just how many people were you thinking of having sex with to make this film?” Arthur said, with a smidgeon of jealousy peeking through.
“See, that’s one of the things I’ve gotten stuck on. I don’t want to have to have sex with multiple partners. And I don’t want to recruit people to film themselves having sex. But I was thinking that maybe it doesn’t have to be a series of people. Maybe it could just be one person’s experiences after sex.” Merlin explained. “I just think that after sex is one of the times that you are the most clear headed and most honest.”
Arthur thought about it for a moment. This seemed to be something important to Merlin. And while he wasn’t exactly comfortable with the idea of being the subject of an after sex confessions movie, just thinking of his father’s reaction, made him chuckle and cringe at the same time. Arthur decided to try this out at least once. “Ok.”
“Ok?” When Arthur nodded, Merlin smiled. He quickly got up, grabbed his camera, and sat down besides Arthur and after getting it set up, pointed the camera at Arthur. “You can start whenever you feel ready.”
Arthur sighed and tried opening his mind and coming up with something to share. After a few minutes, a nagging thought that he’d been having surfaced and he decided to share it with Merlin. “I don’t know if I believe in God. I think I do, but I guess you can never be sure and I don’t have enough faith yet. But I do think that perhaps God is punishing me, that’s why the cancer’s back. When I first got cancer, I promised that if I were to survive that I would live my life every day as if it were my last, that I would do everything I ever dreamed of. I was in remission for a year, and I didn’t do anything. I’m still living with my father and letting him control my life. I haven’t figured out anything that I want for myself, for my future. Perhaps that’s a good thing. What’s the point of planning for a future I may never have?” He laughed mirthlessly. “I got a miracle and I wasted it. I don’t think I’m going to get another one again.” He looked away and tried not to let the tears fall. Merlin put down his camera and just wrapped Arthur in his arms.
~*~
After the video camera incident, Arthur spent less and less time with Merlin. He still worked on crossing things off his list. He had started taking flying lessons, since one of the things he wanted was to be able to fly a plane. Merlin took the classes with him. But they hadn’t had sex again. But they still made out occasionally. Arthur found Merlin as irresistible as ever. But he felt that distancing himself would be best. He didn’t know what he was thinking starting anything up with Merlin. There was a good chance he would be dead fairly soon and he didn’t want Merlin to have to go through that.
He also found that he was feeling incredibly weird in general. Something was wrong, and he was worried. It wasn’t the nausea and tiredness, he was used to that. But there was something going on that had nothing to do with the cancer. He just knew it. He was moody one moment, and flying high the next. They’d managed to hire a new housekeeper at the mansion and subsequently lost her due to Arthur’s behavior, which his father took great pleasure in gloating to Arthur about (“This one’s on you.”) He decided he would talk to his doctor about it at his next appointment.
It was time for his treatment to start. He was trying not to put too many expectations on it. He was trying not to think negatively, but wasn’t positive about it either. They arrived at the doctor’s office. One of the rare perks to being Uther Pendragon’s son is they could afford the best private physicians available and had minimal wait time when they had appointments. But today they had been waiting for half an hour. Arthur stormed over to the doctor’s secretary. “Would you inform that idiot that we have been waiting out here for a half hour. This is Uther Pendragon and his son and if he doesn’t get his lazy arse out here, there will be hell to pay.” The white-haired woman, Alice, looked
frightened, and rushed back to get the doctor.
“While that was a truly impressive display of properly throwing your weight around, you prefer to leave such confrontations to me? What has gotten into you, Arthur?” Uther asked with some concern.
“I don’t know.” Arthur answered and put his hand to his chest. “I just want you to know father, that I am not pissed this time.”
“What?”
Arthur proceeded to pass out.
Part 2
