![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Am I Selfish?
Feb. 14th, 2013 05:30 pmOkay, that's kind of a rhetorical question, since I know that I very much can be selfish. But sometimes I can't take Michael's mother. And I feel horrible for saying that. She's perfectly nice to me, and I like her, but are personalities are totally opposite. And I probably should learn to set some kind of boundaries before Mike and I get married, but it's hard since we live with her.
Like holidays need to be worked out. For the first two years I was with Mike, I spent most of my holidays with them. But, ever since my dad died, I usually spend Thanksgiving with that side of my family. I skipped it the year before last because I fight that I had with my family. But I decided to go last year and Mike came with me. His mom whined about it a lot, but I took it in stride and thought it was no big deal. But then when it came time for Christmas, she very passively aggressively kept making comments about how Mike better spend Christmas with them, and how the only reason she tolerated Mike dating a Jehovah's Witness (which my mom is and I'm not anymore) was because she thought it guaranteed Mike would spend the holidays with her. The tolerate thing was mostly a joke, but the fact that she said it more than once started to rub me the wrong way.
Mike and I have spent the last two Valentine's going out to dinner. So we wanted to do that this year. Jean asked us about it a few days ago and said that she had thought we would all have dinner together at home. But we said we wanted to go out. I thought that would be the end of it. But then yesterday she asked again about our plans and acted kind of put out because she had wanted us all to have dinner together. So tonight, I'm getting ready to go out with Mike and she calls him and asks if her husband and her can come along. I know it's not that big of a deal; Mike and I spend all kinds of time alone together. And Mike asked, and I could have said "no, I just want it to be the two of us", but I just knew if I did, that she would not take it well. So I said okay.
Not really a big deal, and I really shouldn't complain, but I just felt like venting.
Stacey
Like holidays need to be worked out. For the first two years I was with Mike, I spent most of my holidays with them. But, ever since my dad died, I usually spend Thanksgiving with that side of my family. I skipped it the year before last because I fight that I had with my family. But I decided to go last year and Mike came with me. His mom whined about it a lot, but I took it in stride and thought it was no big deal. But then when it came time for Christmas, she very passively aggressively kept making comments about how Mike better spend Christmas with them, and how the only reason she tolerated Mike dating a Jehovah's Witness (which my mom is and I'm not anymore) was because she thought it guaranteed Mike would spend the holidays with her. The tolerate thing was mostly a joke, but the fact that she said it more than once started to rub me the wrong way.
Mike and I have spent the last two Valentine's going out to dinner. So we wanted to do that this year. Jean asked us about it a few days ago and said that she had thought we would all have dinner together at home. But we said we wanted to go out. I thought that would be the end of it. But then yesterday she asked again about our plans and acted kind of put out because she had wanted us all to have dinner together. So tonight, I'm getting ready to go out with Mike and she calls him and asks if her husband and her can come along. I know it's not that big of a deal; Mike and I spend all kinds of time alone together. And Mike asked, and I could have said "no, I just want it to be the two of us", but I just knew if I did, that she would not take it well. So I said okay.
Not really a big deal, and I really shouldn't complain, but I just felt like venting.
Stacey
