Fic: The Fear Factor
Jun. 16th, 2013 12:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
geeklover80Title: The Fear Factor
Creator: geekslave
Fandom: Merlin RPF
Pairings/Groups: Bradley/Colin
Rating: NC-17
Work Type (fic, art): fic
Word Count: (If applicable) 10,424
Work URL: On A03
Summary:Bradley considers himself to be a fairly fearless person. So why was he acting like such a coward just because he realizes he’s in love with his best friend?
Prompt: (where applicable, include a link to the prompt) Based on this prompt.
Perversities (Kinks, concepts): rimming, barebacking
Warnings: None
Creator Notes: Written for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
perverse_bang Based on some tweets and a few posts. The story idea wouldn't leave my head so I decided to have some fun with it.
Thank you to my beta![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
inspired_being for really great and thorough work!
Bradley comes skidding to a stop and tries to catch his breath. “Macken?” He calls out through his gasps.
Eoin’s halfway down the sidewalk before he finally turns around. He doesn’t even break a sweat as he makes his way over to a doubled over Bradley. He smirks as he puts his hands on his hips. “We’re off the job for a few weeks and already you’ve let yourself go. If the knights could see you now.”
Bradley rolls his eyes as he stands upright. “Shut it.”
Eoin smiles broadly as he starts to jog in place. “You’re the one who wanted to go for a run.”
And Bradley is regretting that decision more and more by the second. “I wanted to go jogging, not prepare for a marathon.”
Eoin chuckles. “Fine.” He stops jogging. “Do you want to take a break, go for a pint?”
Bradley hesitates. While his body is aching and longing for a respite, and the idea of a cold drink added to the appeal, he isn’t sure if he wants to say yes. You can never just grab a pint with Eoin. You’ll always undoubtedly end up getting smashed and having to drag a useless, drunken Eoin home. That’s if you were even capable of remembering your own name. Then again, it’s not like Bradley had a steady job to be at the next day. Now that Merlin was over, his schedule was wide open.
Bradley shrugs. “Why not?”
~*~
Always trust your instincts, Bradley. Always, he thinks as he watches Eoin down his fifth shot of tequila. Eoin’s eyes were already becoming unfocused. Bradley, on the other hand, has managed to stick to just beer and is still nursing his first pint.
“Come on, have some tequila.” Eoin shoves the shot glass under Bradley’s nose, the liquid sloshing over the side on to Eoin’s hand and the table.
Bradley waves him off. “I’ll pass.”
“Oh, come on!” Eoin sighs. “I didn’t pay for all these drinks just for you to sit there with only one.”
“You didn’t pay for anything. I did.”
Eoin’s brow furrows briefly. He shrugs. “That’s what I said. I didn’t pay for anything.”
Bradley rolls his eyes.
Eoin tosses back the drink. “Were you the one allergic to tequila?”
Bradley shakes his head, a small smile creasing his lips. “No, that was Colin.”
A big and genuine smile graces Eoin’s face. He sighs. “Colin! I miss that bloke.”
Bradley looks down at the table, picking at an imagined blemish on the wooden surface. He’d been deliberately avoiding the topic of Colin and could kick himself for being the one to bring him up. He grunts noncommittally to Eoin’s declaration.
Eoin levels Bradley with a scrutinizing gaze. He may have been halfway close to drunk but Eoin had a way of being incredibly observant, even now. “You can’t tell me you don’t miss him, too.”
Bradley grimaces and limply shrugs his shoulders.
Eoin continues to stare at him, making Bradley uncomfortable. He puts another shot of tequila to his lips. “Do you know one of the things I love most about Colin?” He gulps down the shot.
“Do you think perhaps you should slow down?” Bradley points to the bottle of tequila.
“It’s that he’s so nice,” Eoin ignores Bradley. “You’d think as an actor he’d be a pretentious, selfish wanker, but he’s not. He’s just genuinely a nice guy.”
“Not all actors are wankers. Are you saying that I’m not nice?”
Eoin shakes his head. “Yeah.” He laughs.
“Thanks.” Bradley takes a sip of his beer, the foam completely gone by now.
Eoin points the empty shot glass at him. “Do you know how I know you’re a right bastard?”
Bradley practically chokes on his drink. “Oi! How’d we go from me being not nice to a complete bastard?”
Eoin ignores him again. “You’re not a good friend.”
Bradley recoils at the accusation, starting to really take offense. “If I’m such a bad friend, what are you even doing here?”
“You’re not a bad friend to me. I like you. I think you’re a mostly fun and very handsome fellow. I meant that you’re a bad friend to Colin.”
Bradley sputters indignantly but honestly can’t come up with any real defense to that claim. He tries not to think about it, but in the back of his mind he knows he’s been treating Colin very shabbily recently, but he doesn’t know what else to do.
“Colin told me you haven’t spoken to him once since we wrapped. Not even to pick up the bloody phone and congratulate him on his new gig. How hard is it to type a congratulatory text? I’m practically drunk and I can do it right now.”
Bradley sighs. “I just need a little space. I love you guys but I’ve practically spent every day for five years attached at the hip to you lot, even when we weren’t filming. I just want to take some time to myself.”
Eoin smiles. “That is horseshit!”
Bradley looks around the somewhat crowded pub to see if anyone was staring at them after Eoin’s loud declaration. Everyone is too preoccupied with their own business to pay attention to them, drinking and laughing with their mates, while he was getting the third degree from his.
“If that were in anyway true, why would you still be hanging around with me? Why would you still talk to Angel every week?”
Bradley just let out a huff instead of responding.
“Rupert told me you have plans to go the gym with him? The only person you seem to be distancing yourself from is Colin.” Eoin pours another shot and places it in front of Bradley. “So why is that, Bradders?”
Bradley glares at him. “I told you not to call me that.” He sits back and eyes the tequila. “It’s not the same between Colin and me. I didn’t have as many scenes with you or the other knights. Or anyone else, even Angel. The bond between Merlin and Arthur was something different.”
Eoin nods. “I know. And I always thought it was the same between you and Colin.”
“It is. Or was.” Bradley sighs. “I don’t know. Now that the show’s over I’ve started to wonder how much of our relationship was affected by what was happening on screen. I’m just trying to work it out for myself.”
Eoin eyes the still full shot and slowly reaches out, sliding his finger against the rim. “He misses you.”
Bradley’s head shoots up so fast Eoin chuckles softly. Bradley ignores him. “He said that?” Bradley notices there’s a pathetic hint of hopefulness in his tone.
“He didn’t start weeping like a little girl and wail about the wonder that is you, but I can tell. He’s asked about you and every time he does, I can hear the sadness in his voice.”
If Bradley weren’t in a crowded room he might seriously punch himself in the face. He can tell by the look in Eoin’s eyes that he wants to.
“He’s not confused, mate. He misses you, not Arthur. If you’re too big of a prat to see that Colin is the best friend you can ever hope to have then you’re a bigger idiot than I’ve ever given you credit for.”
Bradley shouldn’t be surprised at the sincerity in Eoin’s voice. The man was very intelligent and passionate about the things he cares about. He doesn’t have trouble telling you exactly what is on his mind.
Eoin lets out a large belch then holds his stomach. “I don’t think those two beers were a good idea.”
Bradley snorts. “You think the beers were a bad idea?” He said looking at the tequila bottle.
Eoin puts his hand to his mouth. He looks as if he’s waiting for another belch, but nothing happens. He looks up at Bradley. “Did something happen between you and Colin?”
Bradley furrows his brow. “We didn’t have a row or anything if that’s what you’re referring to.”
Eoin shakes his head, then immediately puts a hand against his temple. “I shouldn’t do that.” He closes his eyes briefly and then opens them to stare once again at Bradley. “What I meant was, did anything…you know…sexual happen between you two?” He illustrates his point further with an obscene gesture.
“No!” Bradley yells. This time he sees a couple of people, in the table in front of them, throw a glance their way. “No.” Bradley repeats, quietly.
“There’s nothing wrong if it did. People always assumed it happened once or twice anyway.”
“What?”
Eoin smiles as he nods slightly. “Yeah - a few bets were placed on whether or not you two had ever shagged by blokes I probably shouldn’t name.” He pauses briefly. “Alright it was Tom and Alex, but that’s all I’ll say.”
Bradley rolls his eyes. He would have expected this kind of thing from Katie, but not from the guys. “I don’t really have to explain myself to you, but no we have never shagged.”
“It’s ok if you’re attracted to Colin. Despite the ears, he’s a pretty attractive bloke. Actually, the ears are kind of a turn on. I could imagine having some fun grabbing those things-“
“For the love of God, do not finish that sentence.” Bradley holds up his hand. “I’m not going to talk about this, especially not in public. You know how people love to gossip.
Eoin stands up a bit unsteadily. “Fine. Excuse me, I’m just going to go and hurl with dignity.”
Bradley gets up to follow him, but Eoin waves him off. Sitting down slowly, Bradley sits for a moment in silence before grabbing the tequila bottle and pouring himself a shot, knocking it back and then having another one immediately afterwards.
The only thing he can think about now is Colin - lots of thoughts about Colin, especially about using those ears how Eoin had suggested. But he immediately closes down that line of thought. He sighs deeply. He knows Colin deserves better than how he had been treating him. Truth is it probably wouldn’t hurt to call Colin. The worry for Bradley was that if the mere talk of Colin made him feel like this – anxious and confused – then hearing Colin’s voice would make it a thousand times worse.
~*~
As he had predicted, Bradley had to drag a barely conscious Eoin back to his flat. Eoin was barely any use at all. By the time Bradley dumps the gibbering Irishman on his couch, he feels as if he’s been through an hour's workout.
Bradley goes to his room and struggles to take his shoes off. He is nowhere near as drunk as Eoin, but the two tequilas along with the beer made his thoughts and movements a bit sluggish. He walks over to the two large windows in his room and opens one. It isn’t exactly freezing, but it was definitely a cold night. The wind is bracing against his face, but Bradley welcomes it.
He takes out his cell phone and thumbs through his contacts. When he gets to Colin’s name his thumb hovers over it. The idea of calling Colin should not be making him feel like this. What he told Eoin about his confusion wasn’t complete bullshit, but there was far more to it.
Bradley was not someone who spent much time giving in to fear. He was the kid who, at age 12, jumped off the roof of his two story secondary school to prove a point to Stuart Collins that he could. Of course, it was idiotic and he ended up in AE, but he proved his point and that was all he had cared about. Though, to be honest, his mum’s wrath scared him more than the jump. He thought his mum wouldn’t ever let him see the light of day after that stunt.
He doesn’t get scared easily but his feelings for Colin were something he’s never experienced before. It made him feel disoriented and like he was constantly having some sort of out of body experience.
Bradley didn’t need Eoin to tell him his bond with Colin was truly special. He always knew that. On paper, he and Colin barely had anything in common but they got each other in ways that no one else did. The whole thing about Merlin and Arthur being two sides of the same coin, he truly felt that way about him and Colin.
It wasn’t something he found weird at all. It was comfortable and he enjoyed the camaraderie he shared with Colin. But there came a time he had started to realize there might be more than friendship going on, at least on his side of things. He noticed how he always found ways to touch Colin. When Colin was in a room, his eyes were always drawn to him. Even when Colin wasn’t around, just the mention of his name made his ear perk up and filled him with joy. Gradually, over their last year of filming the first and last thought of his day usually centered on Colin.
At first, he tried to chalk it up to it being their last year together and to a heightened sense of nostalgia and friendship knowing that while their friendship may continue, it may never be the same again. The thought didn’t make him feel any less awkward around Colin. He found he was distancing himself from Colin even before filming on Merlin/i> had wrapped, yet he couldn’t completely stay away. It unsettled him to constantly be on guard around Colin and to act so stiffly, but he convinced himself it was the best way to preserve the friendship.
But it didn’t work; his thoughts and feelings about Colin persisted even after they had parted ways. Bradley was a stubborn man and he was still determined to stuff the feelings down into a tight manageable ball. He would get over this “crush” and things would be better.
Bradley was wrong; things only got worse after they filmed the finale. Bradley had prepared for Arthur’s death, and while he knew it would be an emotional scene, he thought he could get through it like any other. But once they were in the moment, it took a toll on him that he didn’t expect. The scene had been going well, but Bradley felt like it wasn’t as perfect as it could be. On the third take, Colin was holding him and looked into his eyes and it was as if something had switched on in his brain and everything became so clear. In that moment he was more connected with Arthur than he’d ever been and he knew exactly how Arthur felt about Merlin - he knew it because he felt the same way about Colin. He was the most important person in the world to him and there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for him.
The fact that he made it through the scene after that was a miracle to Bradley. As soon as they were done, Bradley had bolted. After that moment he couldn’t handle being anywhere near Colin. But now he realizes how much he is hurting Colin and he feels sick to his stomach. No matter what he does he misses Colin terribly and he has no idea how to make it better. He closes his phone and trudges over to his bed, throwing himself down onto it with a loud groan. Perhaps he’ll give denial a chance for a few more days.
~*~
Bradley feels someone kick his foot and turns around. He leans forward, though he already knew the culprit. Eoin was looking at him with a cheeky grin. “Is there any reason in particular you keep watching the door instead of the stage?”
If they weren’t in such polite company Bradley would give him a two fingered salute. Instead he takes a deep breath. “I think it’s fairly obvious that I’m looking to see if Colin is going to get here on time. His award is coming up soon and I don’t want him to miss it…that’s all.”
Eoin just continues to grin at him even waggling his eyebrows. “Sure…that’s all.”
Bradley sits back and manages to avoid staring at the back door for thirty seconds, before turning back again. They were at the National Television Awards and Colin’s category for Best Dramatic Performance was coming up and he was nowhere to be found. Eoin had mentioned that Colin was still filming on his new project Quirke. Bradley hopes that Colin will make it in time. Of course Colin has stiff competition but Bradley has a good feeling about Colin’s chances.
Those good feelings though did not extend to how he felt things might go between him and Colin. He never did manage to make that phone call to Colin. Now he is about to see him for the first time in months, he is feeling incredibly nervous, but more than that, there is a heady rush of anticipation. He wants to see Colin so badly it scares him.
A stage manager rushes over, briefly announces that Colin’s award is next and a seat filler is placed next to Bradley. He starts to panic in earnest now. Colin isn’t going to make it. He looks over at the brown-haired stranger and finds himself having a strange urge to throttle the poor man. It isn’t his fault he’s not Colin.
Then, just as suddenly as before, the harried stage manager rushes over and grabs the man. Before Bradley can blink Colin is sitting next to him. Rupert, Eoin, and Alex greet him warmly. Bradley is left trying to get a hold of himself and keep from staring. When Colin’s blue eyes finally land directly on Bradley's own clear blue ones, Bradley sucks in a breath. He finds himself flashing back to being eight years old and bouncing up and down excitedly as he was presented with the ten speed bike he’d begged his parents for. It was the best present he’d ever received and he thought he would combust from happiness. That feeling couldn’t even compare to how he felt looking at Colin.
“Hi.” Colin gives him a small nod and a little wave.
It’s so Colin that Bradley almost wants to cry. “Hi.”
They stare at each other awkwardly for another moment. Colin shuffles forward in his seat and adjusts his bowtie.
Bradley desperately tries to think of something to say. He looks at Colin’s head and blurts out. “Your hair is different.”
Colin turns to him. He nods. “Yeah, I cut it for the new project.”
“Right,” Bradley slowly nods. He mutters to himself, “And I would have known that if I'd bothered to talk to you recently.”
As he mentally slaps himself around, the lights in the auditorium dim as the presentation of Best Dramatic Performance begins. He faces forward briefly before looking at Colin. “Good luck.”
Colin stares at him and with hooded eyes and says sincerely. “Thank you.”
Bradley slowly turns around again. The way Colin was looking at him made him squirm in his seat. When they announce Colin as one of the nominees Bradley claps long and hard. Come on, Colin. He chants in his head.
When Colin is announced as the winner, things seem to speed up and slow down at the same time Bradley is filled with so much pride and happiness he wants to crush Colin to his chest. But he manages to refrain from that, instead he grabs Colin and shakes him a little. Colin heads up to the stage and Bradley stands, watching Colin. He can feel tears start to well in his eyes.
He doesn’t remember sitting back down; his eyes never leave Colin. The joy on Colin’s face is beautiful and contagious. After five years, for Colin to get the accolades he so clearly deserves is wonderful. Bradley knows that no one deserves it more. No one is as good or talented or beautiful or special as Colin. Bradley thinks back to everything he felt while they were filming their final scenes together. He feels exactly the same now as he did then, only now he’s finally willing to admit to himself what he’s been desperately trying not to say or even think - he was in love with his best friend.
~*~
Colin never makes it back to his seat. Part of Bradley hates that he wasn’t there with Colin and that he didn’t get to be the first person to personally congratulate him. Another part of him feels a great sense of relief that he didn’t have to deal with Colin being elbow to elbow with him after realizing his true feelings, especially when he doesn’t know what to do with said feelings.
As the after party begins, Bradley finally spots Colin for the first time. He’s at the other end of the room making his way through a sea of well-wishers. He still has a radiant, mile wide smile on his face. Bradley can’t help smiling, too. The smile quickly fades when Colin turns and looks at him directly. He looks like a man on a mission as he heads toward Bradley.
Bradley is sure he must resemble a deer caught in the headlights. Colin stops in front of him and smiles. Bradley can’t help giving Colin a quick embrace. “Congratulations.” He says as he pulls back as quick as humanly possible.
Colin nods. “Thank you.” He scans the crowd behind him briefly before turning back to Bradley. “Do you mind if we go somewhere else? I really need to talk to you.”
Bradley gulps. “W-where do you want to go?”
“My flat’s not far from here.”
Bradley’s eyes widen. He thought Colin just wanted to step out in the hallway or even outside. He didn’t realize he wanted to leave the area altogether. “You want to leave the party? Everyone wants to talk to you.”
“I know. But this is more important.”
Bradley takes a deep breath. “Alright, let’s go.”
~*~
“Would you like something to drink?”
Bradley sits down on Colin’s couch and tries to keep his knees from knocking. “Sure, whatever you have is fine.”
He can feel the rumbling in his stomach and tries to calm down. He’s been alone with Colin before, it was no big deal. Except, those other times he hadn’t been consciously aware of his intense desire to smother Colin with kisses and rip his clothes off.
Colin is now standing before him and when he reaches out to hand Bradley his drink, Bradley fumbles the cup and brown liquid and ice spills all over him. “Shit!”
“It’s alright.” Colin brushes the ice off and then rushes from the room, coming back with a cloth. He kneels before Bradley and starts to wipe at his lap. “It’s a good thing it was iced tea and not the regular. I’d hate to think of you with third degree burns on your crotch.” He laughs.
Bradley’s too nervous to let out anything but a strained chuckle.
Bradley is sure that he’s about as dry as he’s going to get, but Colin is still wiping him down. As the blood starts to travel down to his nether regions, Colin looks up at him with an intense stare, his blue eyes big and searching. Bradley gulps. He snatches the cloth from Colin’s hands. “I think I’m good now.”
“Right.” Colin shakes his head. He gets up and sits next to Bradley.
Bradley twiddles his thumbs and can barely make eye contact with Colin. He lets out a sharp exhale. “Do you have anything to eat around here, and by eat I mean, you know something edible?”
Colin snorts as he gets up and goes to the kitchen. Bradley follows him. “Everything I have to eat is, you know, edible.”
Bradley nods slowly. “Alright further correction, do you have anything to eat that’s fit for someone who is into things like taste and flavor.”
Colin rolls his eyes as he rummages through a cupboard. “I’d actually like to live for a really long time.”
“I do as well. I just don’t think I need to eat something that’s akin to tree bark to do it. My great-grandfather put meat in everything, everything, even ice cream, and he lived to be 90.”
“You’re lying.” Colin says. He turns around and puts down some chips.
Bradley makes the sign of the cross on his chest. “I swear. They called him Carnivorous Carl. Which was odd because his first name wasn’t even Carl.”
Colin bursts out laughing. “You’re so weird. Why am I friends with you?”
“Because you’re weird, too,” Bradley laughs. Angst-filled thoughts about his feelings are put aside for a moment and he can just be with Colin like before. It’s nice.
Colin picks up the bag of chips and presses them into Bradley’s hands. They go back out and sit on the couch. Colin opens the bag of chips and begins to munch on them. Bradley just stares at his hands. “I’m surprised you’re not angry with me.” He blurts out.
Colin’s eyes narrow in confusion. “Why would I be angry with you?”
Bradley sighs, “Because I haven’t talked to you since filming wrapped.”
Colin purses his lips. “Oh, right, that.” He shrugs. “I was a little cross, at first but I think I understand.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. Filming our last scene together was really intense. And these last five years we’ve been so entwined together, I understand why you needed a break. I have really missed you, though.”
Bradley is sure he’s not imagining the way Colin has inched even closer to him. Bradley stuffs a chip nervously into his mouth.
“I think the time a part has actually been a good thing. It’s made me realize some things about our relationship.” Colin’s hand rests closely against Bradley’s.
“Yeah?” Bradley’s voice cracks unmistakably.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Bradley, I-”
Bradley stands up suddenly, cutting Colin off. “I have to go.” Bradley feels his chest tighten and feels out of breath and dizzy. Is this what a panic attack feels like? Whatever it is he needs to get away fast.
Colin’s mouth drops open and he stands up to face Bradley. “You’re leaving now?”
“I’m sorry but I...I’m not feeling very well. If you don’t want me to puke in your living room, I really need to leave.” Bradley heads for the door in a hurry.
“Do you want me to drive you home?”
Bradley shakes his head. “No, I think I can manage.” He opens the front door and turns back to look at Colin. “I’m sorry.”
Colin opens his mouth to say something but Bradley rushes out.
Bradley gets to his car and grips the steering wheel tightly. What. The. HELL. Was. That? Bradley feels like a huge loser. Why didn’t he just let Colin finish his sentence? It could have changed everything. Bradley realizes that’s exactly what he was afraid of.
~*~
Instead of choosing to face his fears head on, Bradley decides the best idea is to run away and hide. He decides to push up his plans to visit the states and leaves as soon as possible. Staying away from Colin hadn’t worked, so maybe some distance, a lot of distance, would do the trick.
He actually manages to enjoy himself on his first few days there. It’s been great to see some of his friends and actually be able to relax. It was kind of fun being recognized wherever he went and to sign autographs, but to also finally be a regular person for once. He manages to not think of Colin for a day, but when he checks in with his mum, she excitedly mentions that Colin will be performing at the Globe. Bradley is thrilled for Colin. He knows that’s always been a dream of Colin’s. But Bradley realizes that he will probably miss Colin’s opening night, which might be for the best considering how he left things. Ever since he bolted from Colin’s flat, Colin has been calling him but Bradley hasn’t returned any of his calls.
After the phone call, Colin is once again the predominant thought in his head. He thinks about him while riding amusement park rides. He thinks about him whenever they pass a vegetarian restaurant in California. He even thinks about him while clothes shopping. In fact, on impulse he buys Colin a cute graphic T-shirt he knows he’ll love.
Perhaps that's why he has agreed to his friend James’s ridiculous idea to go skydiving. He’s desperate for any kind of distraction. He figures he will surely be able to forget Colin while hurtling his way back down to Earth. And he was partially right. Now the predominant thought in his mind is his imminent death.
Bradley looks over the edge of the plane and wonders what the hell he’s doing. If he really needs a distraction that badly he should have tried a new book or a new club or perhaps even experimenting with bangs, anything but hurtling his body from 25,000 feet. This is a stupid idea. This is a stupid idea that was bred from the stupid ideas of a stupid, smug, drunken tosser. “Bloody Macken.” He grumbles under his breath.
“What?” James asks.
Bradley waves him off. “Nothing.”
He looks behind him as his skydiving instructor Paul finishes connecting their harnesses together. It is five minutes before they will make their jump. They are doing a tandem free fall. Bradley finds himself chuckling a bit. It amuses him to be so closely connected to someone and experience something so potentially life-altering with someone he’s only meant a half hour ago.
“Now remember,” Paul shouts. “We’ll be freefalling for a minute and then I will deploy the parachute. You’ve indicated that you want to help fly the parachute after it’s been opened, is that correct?”
“Yes,” Bradley nods his head vigorously. Bradley grips the toggles that will help him steer the parachute.
Bradley takes a deep breath. This will be fine. It won’t be like in secondary school when he came crashing down to earth and heard the sickening crack as his leg broke. This will be different. He isn’t nearly as stupid. There are all kinds of safety precautions at work here and the chances of him dying are minimal. But a voice in the back of his head warns him there is still a chance he could die. He starts to wonder if he should call the whole thing off.
“I don’t know if I can do this.” Bradley declares.
“What?” James shouts.
“This is probably the single worst idea you’ve ever had. I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” Bradley shakes his head.
James furrows his brow. He looks puzzled. “I thought you’d like it.”
Bradley snorts. “Why would I like this? The thought of plummeting to my death doesn’t thrill me. Something could go wrong. Aren’t you scared?”
James closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Brad...” he sighs. “I swear, I am about ten seconds away from throwing you out of this plane...without the parachute.”
Bradley is taken aback by his outburst.
“What the hell has gotten into you? You’re acting like a...nervous ninny. You have been this entire time. I had to talk you into going on a rollercoaster, for crying out loud.”
“It didn’t look like fun.” Bradley protests, it sounding weak even to his ears.
“You sure looked like you had fun once I got you on the bloody thing. And this,” he gestures to their surroundings, “normally you would have been the first one to suggest this and you wouldn’t have taken the piss out of anyone who looked even remotely green.”
Bradley knows he’s right. This isn’t him, none of this - running away from Colin, being so petrified to leap out of this plane. He is not this coward he was becoming.
“Bradley you’re usually so fearless. I mean, who eats monkey brains on a dare? Bradley Fucking James that’s who? What is going on with you?” James’s voice softens. “You won’t talk to me or any of your other friends. Even your mum.”
“I’m just really terrified about something going wrong. I don’t want to ruin something wonderful. Because if it doesn’t work out and I lose this person, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“Just let go, mate because this fear and worry is getting you nowhere. You would be the first person to tell me that you can’t let fear get in the way of your happiness. You won’t know until you try.”
Bradley squeezes James’s shoulder. “That was lovely. I didn’t know you worked for Hallmark these days.”
James’ laughs loudly. He punches Bradley in the shoulder. “Blow it out your arse.”
Joking aside, Bradley greatly appreciates his friend’s counsel. It is great to have a friend give him a kick in the arse, though thankfully not literally. It is clearly something he needed to hear and he does start to feel a weight begin to lift from his shoulders. “I am Bradley Fucking James and I can do this,” he whispers.
“You ready?” Paul yells in his ear. Bradley nods. “One, two, three!”
And just like that they are falling forward and into the air. It’s a strange sensation. Bradley doesn’t have the feeling of weightlessness he thought he would. He feels grounded and in control. After a while it feels as if the wind is forcefully pulling at his face. But it doesn’t feel painful. He catches a glimpse of the videographer and gives a genuinely big smile. This is the most exhilarating feeling. Somehow it feels familiar.
After a minute his instructor pulls the cord and their parachute opens. They become vertical once again and he takes hold of the toggles and puts his hands above his shoulders as he helps steer them back down to the ground. Paul takes control as they head toward the ground. It is a gentler landing than he expects. Paul lands on his feet, while Bradley skids on his arse for a brief moment, but quickly comes to a complete stop. His friend Seth is waiting for him. He can feel the mile wide grin on his face.
Seth helps him up. He claps him on the shoulder. “How was it, mate?”
“Words really can’t do it justice,” Bradley explains.
Seth nods and laughs. “I know. I told you it would be brilliant.”
They look up to see James floating through the sky. Bradley grins. “You were right.”
Seth just shrugs as if that’s a given. “What do you want to do now?”
“I want to go home.”
~*~
Bradley’s palms are sweating and he wipes them against his blue sweats as he walks towards the Globe. He looks down at his clothes and wonders if he should have dressed up a little more. But he dismisses the thought, knowing what he’s wearing won’t matter to Colin and that if he had worn something fancier Colin will just find it strange. Bradley shakes his head. “I’m such a girl.”
He looks around quickly, hoping no one notices him talking to himself. He knows a few fans have already seen him taking photos. The thought rankles a bit, but he isn’t going to let that stop him now. He is no longer going to let his fear direct his decisions.
He stops in front of the Globe Theatre and smiles instantly. The beanie hat, the huge backpack, the intense concentration – he would recognize Colin anywhere. It isn’t a surprise to see him outside pacing and studying his lines. Colin was always the consummate professional and practiced his lines right up until the moment they were set to film. It wasn’t because he had trouble remembering his lines or was unprepared. Bradley can’t ever imagine that being the case. Colin is just someone who is very thorough and cares deeply about everything he does. It is one of several reasons he cares so deeply about him.
He wipes a damp hand over his face and crosses the street. He stands and watches Colin for another second, smiling at how deep in concentration Colin is. There is a deep groove in the middle of his forehead and he is mumbling to himself.
Bradley laughs loudly. Colin stops in his tracks and looks up slowly. Bradley shakes his head. “I swear a meteor could come crashing towards the Earth and it wouldn’t be able to penetrate that fugue state you get into when you’re reading.”
Colin’s eyes slowly travel up Bradley’s body. A million different emotions seem to flit across Colin’s face. At first he is utterly confused, then for one brief moment, he seems excited and happy. But that is quickly replaced by an emotion Bradley can’t place. Colin’s expression is blank. His lips try to form some word that Bradley isn’t sure of and he won’t find out because Colin closes his mouth before finally speaking. “Bradley?”
“Yes, that’s me. I’m chuffed you still recognize me.” Bradley tries to make it light, but he is dying inside.
Colin purses his lips. “I’d probably recognize your fleeing back a bit better.” Bradley certainly can’t miss the less than friendly tone to Colin’s voice. “What are you doing here?” Colin grips his script tighter.
“It’s your opening night. I wouldn’t miss that.”
Colin quirks an eyebrow at him. “Really?”
Bradley shrugs. “Yes. I’m still your friend, Cols.”
Colin’s gaze falls to the ground. He seems to be warring with how to respond. Bradley knows Colin well enough to realize that Colin’s shy side is warring with his more outspoken one. The blunt side wins. “You haven’t really acted like a friend, Bradley. I’ve been calling you and you’ve been ignoring me.”
Bradley takes a few steps closer. “I’m so sorry. I know I’ve been acting like a total arse, but I can explain.”
Colin looks toward the front of the theatre. “I’m really busy, Bradley.”
Bradley nods quickly. “I know, I know. But I was hoping we could talk after the play. I know you’re going to be knackered, but it’s really important.”
Colin bites his lip. He sighs deeply. “Alright. I’ll meet you at your flat?”
Bradley licks his lips. “I’m going to be at the play tonight.” Colin’s eyes get bigger for a moment. “I thought, perhaps I could just meet you backstage and we could go back to yours.”
Colin swallows. “Are you sure? You ran so fast from my flat last time you looked like someone making a jail break. “
Bradley takes another step closer and is so close he can feel Colin’s shaky breath on his face. “I’m not going to run again. I promise.”
Colin rubs at the back of his neck and assesses Bradley. “You’re really going to watch the play?”
Bradley smiles broadly. “I wouldn’t miss you running around in tights for the world.”
Colin’s cheeks redden. “Who said anything about tights?”
They both laugh and Bradley is extremely grateful that not everything is broken between them.
Colin blinks up at Bradley and gestures towards the steps as he slowly backs away. “I should be getting back inside.”
“Alright. I’ll see you tonight, tights or not.”
Colin laughs one more time before slowly climbing the steps.
Bradley exhales slowly. He hopes the rest of the night will go more smoothly than that.
~*~
Bradley doesn’t know why he continues to be astonished by anything Colin does, but he finds himself flabbergasted by Colin’s performance in The Tempest. If he didn’t know it was him, he wouldn’t have even recognized him. It’s not just the make-up and the elaborate costume, but the way Colin completely submerges himself in any role he takes on. His body language and his voice changes in just the slightest way, but to tremendous effect. And to see him moving all around the stage like a demented acrobat is breathtaking. Bradley is tired just watching him.
He is incredibly happy for Colin. The audience obviously enjoys themselves and the joy on Colin’s face as the actors take their bows is clear. Selfishly, Bradley worries Colin will be too tired to talk to him. He hopes Colin won’t beg off, even though he will completely understand if he does.
Bradley gets backstage easily. Colin has made sure security knows he is expecting him. He is escorted to Colin’s dressing room and waits for him there. He tries sitting, but he keeps bouncing around in his seat. He stands up and tries to find a nonchalant way to stand, but isn’t sure what to do with his arms. He moves to take a seat again, but stops midway when the door begins to open. He quickly rights himself and tries to smile big, but not too widely.
He can instantly tell how drained Colin is. Colin greets him with a warm smile. He quickly takes a seat so he can take off his make-up.
Bradley wrings his hands together. “Colin, that was amazing. The whole play was brilliant and it was so much more than the last version of The Tempest I saw. But you…you were just – The way you moved across the stage. I didn’t know you could sing like that.”
Colin laughs, a breathy sound that ends with him stifling a yawn. “I’ve never known you to babble, James.”
“It was just really exciting.”
Colin smiles sincerely. “Thank you.” He pauses with his make-up removal. “You really thought the singing was alright? I’ve tried but I don’t think I’m as good as I should be.”
“I’m not saying Simon Cowell is going to come knocking down your door anytime soon, but normally your singing voice is like nails on a chalkboard, so this was quite an improvement.”
Colin grins. “No one has a way with backhanded compliments quite like you.”
“It was good, Colin. You shouldn’t worry about it. You can’t be perfect all the time.”
Colin nods. “Maybe you’re right.”
Bradley’s head snaps back. “Now I know you really are tired.”
Colin laughs.
Bradley sighs. “I really want to talk to you Colin. I need to. But maybe tonight isn’t the best time. I know you have another performance tomorrow and I don’t want you to fall off the stage tomorrow because I didn’t let you get any sleep.”
Colin stands up his face not quite as pale anymore. He grabs Bradley’s hand briefly. “I want to talk to you, too. I don’t want to wait.”
Bradley meets Colin’s eyes and wonders if Colin knows exactly what he wants to say. He clears his throat and looks away. “Shall we get going then?”
~*~
The drive to Colin’s flat is filled with a tense silence. Bradley isn’t sure what Colin is feeling. He catches Colin looking at him every now and again, but his expression is unreadable. No matter what Colin has to say in response, Bradley knows what he is about to do would irrevocably change their relationship – for good or bad, he didn’t know.
They get to Colin’s flat and Colin slowly pulls the keys from his backpack. He looks dead on his feet. He lets Bradley inside and closes the door. As soon as it’s closed and Colin turns to him Bradley speaks, his heart and not his brain, in control. “I love you.”
Colin sways on his feet and falls slightly against the door. “What?”
Bradley rubs at his face roughly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to just say it like that. I had this whole speech I prepared, but I’ve kept it to myself for so long and I’m afraid by the time I get to the end of that speech, the only response will be your eyes rolling back into your head as you fall into a coma.”
Colin steps closer and touches Bradley’s forearm gently. “Bradley, breathe.” He is tired and obviously reeling from Bradley’s announcement, but he is still trying to take care of him.
Colin leads Bradley to his living room and sits him down. Bradley takes a deep breath. Their knees are touching and Colin makes a move to get up, but Bradley grabs his hands. “Please, stay.”
Colin nods slowly.
“I went skydiving the other day.” Bradley starts.
Colin’s brow furrows in confusion. “How…exciting?”
Bradley grins. “I was terrified but I let go of my fear and I embraced the experience. It was absolutely thrilling and a once in a lifetime thing. Even if I went skydiving again, it wouldn’t be the same feeling. I felt joy and peace and free. When I was finally on the ground again, I kept wondering why the feeling felt so familiar. And I realized I feel that way when I’m with you. Every time. I’ve known that I love you for a really long time. But I was too afraid to admit it and too scared of things changing. I don’t want to ruin what we have because it is the most precious thing in the world to me. But I don’t want to deny myself that feeling anymore. Why would I? It’s stupid and crazy and pointless. I just want to be with you.”
Colin looks like a deer in the headlights. He blinks rapidly several times.
“So…that was my speech.”
Colin clears his throat. His fingers close around Bradley’s hand. “I think you should have led with that.”
Bradley smiles. “You liked it?”
“I loved it.” Colin cups Bradley’s cheek. “I loved it.”
Bradley doesn’t wait before moving in and capturing Colin’s mouth in a slow kiss. Colin buries a hand in Bradley’s golden hair. Bradley takes Colin’s bottom lip between his teeth and sucks it into his mouth and then runs his tongue over it, before licking his way inside Colin’s mouth.
Bradley pulls back and sees an agonizingly beautiful smile on Colin’s face. He goes in for another kiss but quickly pulls back. They’re both smiling so much it’s hard to kiss properly. “I can’t really kiss you when you’re smiling like that.” He says, his own matching grin threatening to break his face in half.
“I can’t help it,” Colin shrugs.
Colin is actually blushing and Bradley finds it ridiculously endearing. He nips at Colin’s nose.
Colin kisses the tip of Bradley’s nose. “Perhaps we can invent a new way of kissing, doing it just with our teeth. I think it can catch on.”
Bradley throws back his head and laughs. He runs his hand through Colin’s hair and looks into his eyes. He starts to sober a little. He kisses Colin’s top lip softly and then his bottom one. “I think I’d prefer to do it the old-fashioned way.”
Colin nods. “I’d like that.”
Bradley leans in slowly and kisses Colin's mouth savoring the taste of his incredibly soft and full lips.
Colin presses his body closer and wraps his arms around Bradley. Colin moans into the kiss. His hands begin to wander all over Bradley's body.
Bradley pulls back and trails kisses down Colin's jaw and neck. He sucks a bruise at Colin's pulse point.
Colin climbs into his lap and grinds down. Bradley growls and grabs hips and lifts him up. Colin wraps his legs around Bradley’s waist. Bradley carries them all the way to the bedroom. Their kisses pick up in urgency.
Bradley kicks open Colin's bedroom door. They fall on the bed, their lips never parting. Colin fists his hands in Bradley’s hair and wraps his legs around him. Bradley feels dizzy with want but he pulls back. He can feel Colin’s erection against his leg and knows he wants him, but he wants to make sure they’re not going too fast.
“What do you want?”
“I want you to stop talking.” Colin grabs Bradley’s face and smashes their lips together.
Bradley runs his hands over Colin’s clothed chest. He doesn’t want any barriers between them. He grips the end of Colin’s t-shirt and rips it off of him. Colin returns the favor.
Bradley is surprised at how strong and sculpted Colin’s upper chest is. Though he really shouldn’t be after how Colin bulked up during the final season of Merlin. And with how physical and acrobatic the part of Ariel is he thinks Colin will only get bigger.
Bradley leans down and lays a series of kisses down Colin’s chest. Colin’s chest rises and falls faster and faster the closer Bradley gets to his groin. Before he turns his attention to Colin’s crotch, Bradley flips Colin over roughly. He trails wet, open mouth kisses up and down Colin’s back. Colin groans and writhes against him.
Deciding to be bold Bradley mounds Colin’s muscular backside. He peels down Colin’s trousers and stares at his lovely round arse. He kisses both cheeks softly. He then spreads his cheeks, and strokes an experimental finger down Colin’s hole. It puckers briefly before opening up more. Colin grips the sheets and lets out a loud indecipherable series of sounds. Bradley knows what he wants.
Bradley tentatively flicks his tongue against Colin’s entrance. Again, Colin surprises him. He thrusts his ass towards Bradley’s face, demanding more. Bradley licks a long wet stripe down Colin’s hole and then repeats the motion making sure to get it nice and wet. Colin is bucking back and practically chanting Bradley’s name. Bradley’s toes curl. He loves being able to give Colin this kind of pleasure. He could gladly set up camp there if it would continue to provoke such filthy sounds from Colin’s mouth.
Bradley puckers up and places a soft kiss at Colin’s hole. His spit is sliding down and Bradley takes his thumb and circles Colin’s entrance repeatedly. He presses his thumb in slowly up to the knuckle and goes back to suckling at the dripping area with his mouth while slowly pumping his thumb in and out again.
Colin swings his arm back wildly and finally cups the back of Bradley’s head, pressing his face to his anus. “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Bradley is now making obscene slurping sounds. He can tell Colin is so close to coming and he wants that more than he wants to breathe. He takes his finger out and begins to stick his tongue in, stabbing at Colin.
“I’m going to come!” Colin wails.
Bradley reaches a hand around and tugs once at Colin’s cock before he feels his warm semen spilling over his hand. Colin lets out a hoarse moan. Bradley slowly laps at Colin as he begins to come down from his orgasm.
Colin slowly rolls forward as Bradley crawls up to lay beside him. He runs his hand across Colin’s heaving chest. “That was...I’ve never come like that before.”
“With someone’s face buried in your arse?” Bradley chuckles.
Colin shakes his head. He looks down at Bradley who is still tenting his trousers.
Bradley is painfully hard but wants to make sure Colin is alright and is satisfied.
Colin turns around to face Bradley. He draws Bradley into a kiss. He kisses him softly while working to get his trousers off. Bradley helps him by kicking them off once Colin gets them down to his knees.
They stare at each other for a moment. Bradley can’t believe how lucky he is to be with the person he loves after denying himself for so long. Being with Colin like this is better than he ever thought possible. When Colin reaches down and begins to stroke him gently, his desire to be buried in Colin magnifies. He strokes a knuckle down Colin’s cheek. “Do you have condoms?”
Colin looks down and bites his lip. “I’ve been tested recently and I’m clean.” He says with hesitation. “If you want to use something we can, but I really want to feel you inside me.”
Bradley closes his eyes and tries to control the rush of desire Colin’s words provokes. He nods slowly. “I was tested, too.” He pauses. “Are you sure about this?”
“Absolutely.” He looks over at his night stand. “I do have some lube in there.” He frowns for a moment. “I’ve never wished I had Merlin’s powers more.”
Bradley laughs and rushes over to the night stand. He’s back in two seconds. “Luckily, I’m as quick as Arthur is.”
Colin purses his lips. “Hopefully not too quick.” He tries to hold back a laugh but doesn’t succeed.
Bradley drops his head to Colin’s shoulder. “You know what I meant.” He pulls back and slowly moves on top of Colin. “You’ll be satisfied, I promise,” he says in a husky voice.
Colin’s laughter increases. “I’m sorry but now you sound like you’re in a porno.”
Bradley rolls his eyes. “There’s no pleasing you, is there.” He starts to tickle Colin, who starts to hiccup with laughter.
“Alright, I give, I give. I’m sorry.”
Bradley stops tickling him and smiles fondly at Colin. “That’s better.” Bradley reaches for the lube beside him and squeezes a small amount in his hands.
Colin’s laughter has died down and now he is watching Bradley’s moves intently.
Bradley brings a finger to Colin’s arse and fingers his hole gently, before easing his finger inside. Colin is still wet and loose from Bradley’s rimming and it doesn’t take long to prepare him. Bradley replaces his finger with the tip of his cock. Before entering Colin, he locks eyes with him. Colin nods slightly and Bradley pushes forward.
Colin squeezes his eyes shut, clearly in pain at first. Bradley worries he’s hurt him, but Colin quickly opens his eyes and nods, reassuring Bradley. Bradley makes sure to go slow, adjusting his movements to the way Colin is responding. When he’s in as far as he can go he pauses. He rests his forehead against Colin’s and tries to control his breathing. Colin is so tight around him that Bradley is afraid he won’t be able to last long.
He gasps when he feels Colin arch into him. Placing his hands by Colin’s head Bradley pushes up to his elbows and begins to move gently. Colin moans and trails his hands down Bradley’s back until he’s cupping his arse. Bradley pulls out of Colin all the way and slams his cock back in. Colin gasps and throws his head back. Bradley grinds his pelvis against Colin. He’s so deep and Colin clenches against his cock.
“Oh, fuck Colin!” Bradley groans.
Colin’s hard again and begins to fist his cock.
Bradley gradually begins to pump in and out at a faster pace, Colin’s moans urging him on. Colin kneads the muscles of Bradley’s ass. “Harder!”
Bradley grunts as he pushes in harder and harder.
“Oh God, right there!” Colin screams.
A part of Bradley is so eager to come inside Colin, he can’t take the anticipation. But he doesn’t want this to end. Being inside Colin, seeing Colin’s intense desire, the way he moans and writhes only for Bradley is the most awe inspiring feeling. It’s better than anything he’s ever felt. It’s even better than the rush he felt falling through the air. Nothing will ever be able to top this moment.
He grips Colin’s hips and begins to pound him again and again. Colin’s screams are so loud and he’s calling Bradley’s name.
Bradley can feel his orgasm building and building until his hips stutter and he presses his forehead to Colin’s. He can feel his come spurting inside Colin and he groans. “Colin!”
He begins to shudder and lazily looks down and can see Colin still stroking his cock and he comes after two more tugs. He gasps into Bradley’s mouth.
When they’re both completely still Bradley drags his face up and looks down at Colin, who looks dazed and in utter bliss. Bradley kisses Colin’s shoulder before pulling out gently.
He goes to get a flannel from Colin’s bathroom. He wipes the drying come from Colin’s belly. He then moves down and starts to clean Colin’s arse. He presses down and sees a line of come dribble from Colin’s hole. Bradley tosses the flannel aside and licks Colin clean. Colin gasps and bucks against the bed.
When Bradley moves up, Colin quickly grabs him and lays a filthy, dirty kiss on his mouth. He tastes himself on Bradley. “Fuck,” he sighs as he draws away from Bradley’s mouth and falls back against the bed.
“Yeah...fuck.” Bradley crawls over Colin and lays his head on Colin’s chest. He can feel how fast his heart is beating.
Bradley knows that they need to think, things need to be cleared up, but he can’t really be arsed to do anything but sleep as Colin trails his hands through his hair. He feels so content, tired, and happy. He’s asleep in less than a minute.
~*~
A lovely, familiar smell wakes Bradley up. He can feel the sunlight streaming on his face before he opens his eyes. He leans back and is disappointed when he doesn’t feel Colin’s firm chest beneath him. He twists around and Colin is nowhere in sight, but he can hear noise in the kitchen and can smell...bacon?
Bradley gets up and pads to the kitchen as he rubs the sleep from his eyes. As he enters he sees Colin laying out a plate of bacon. It’s a huge mound and Bradley can’t even see the plate as he walks forward. He looks over and is shocked to see every breakfast meat you can possibly have on the table - bacon, sausage, ham, even bloody spam.
Colin smiles brightly when he sees Bradley. “Morning.”
Bradley grins and shakes his head. “Morning.” He walks over to Colin and kisses him. He puts his arm around Colin’s waist and draws him closer to deepen the kiss.
Colin pulls back leisurely, his eyes still closed for a moment. “I can get used to that.”
Bradley nods. “I can, too.” He looks over at the table again. “What have you been doing?”
“Cooking.”
“I can see that. There is many a slaughtered animal on the table.” Colin briefly grimaces as he looks at the table. “Are you trying to fatten me up?”
Colin sighs. “Yes, exactly. You have to be a lot bigger if I want to be able to sacrifice you to my Sun God, EarthWindFire.”
“No relation to the band.”
“Of course not, don’t be silly.”
They give each other the side eye and break out in matching grins.
After a minute, Colin gestures to the table. “I woke up and after watching you sleep for...a minute.”
“A minute?” Bradley gives him an eyebrow raise worthy of Gaius.
“Alright...half an hour.”
Bradley grins.
“Anyway, after watching you, I remembered that there was nothing here that you find edible so I went out and stocked up on some things I know you like. I want you to be comfortable here.”
Bradley doesn’t know if it’s possible, but he thinks he is falling in love with Colin even more. He walks over to the table and looks at the array of food. He turns to Colin. “You want me to be comfortable here? You plan on me being here often?”
Colin twists his hands together. “I hope so.”
Bradley steps closer to him. “Is that what you want?”
Colin shrugs. “I want whatever you...” he trails off. “No. I’m tired of being coy and too afraid to say what I really want. I love you, Bradley and I want to be with you.”
Bradley gets closer and wraps Colin in his arms. “I want that, too.” He pulls back and runs his fingers gently over Colin’s cheeks. “You were afraid, too.”
Colin laughs. “Of course. I was petrified. Bradley, you’re my very best friend in the whole world and the thought of risking our friendship scares the life out of me. I don’t want to lose you. But after we finished with Merlin I realized how much I loved you and I needed you. I wanted to tell you the night of the National Television Awards-”
“But I did a runner like an idiot.”
Colin nods.
“I’m so sorry,” Bradley says, regret lacing his voice.
Colin pecks him on the lips. “It’s ok. You made up for it...and then some,” he winks.
Bradley gives a full-throated laugh, throwing his head back. He is so grateful he didn’t permanently screw things up. He puts his arms around Colin’s neck. “I don’t know where our careers are going to take us, and I know we’ll drive each other crazy, but I don’t plan on going anywhere. You’re stuck with me now.”
Colin’s eyes light up and he looks up at Bradley with such tenderness and love. “I’m glad. Who else would have a couple of weirdos like us?”
“I don’t know.” Bradley kisses Colin again. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be over the thrill of getting to do that whenever he wants to now. “I promise you Colin, I’m not going to let fear dictate anything in my life again.”
“I trust that you won’t. You’re the bravest man I know, Bradley. And you’re going to need that bravery for some of the things I want to try.”
Bradley’s eyes widen and he smiles at the mischievous look on Colin’s face. “And just what are you referring to?”
Colin pulls away and tries to look innocent. “Nothing. Eat your breakfast. I’m just going to try and find my copy of The Kama Sutra.
Bradley laughs as he watches Colin walk away with a spring in his step. Colin throws him one last blinding smile before he rounds the corner. Colin has another thing coming if he thinks anything in The Kama Sutra could scare Bradley. Bradley can’t wait to show Colin a thing or two. He wants to get started right now.
He looks back at the food Colin so lovingly prepared and worries that it’s getting cold. He looks back at Colin’s room. “Fuck it,” he says as he races to the bedroom. That’s what microwaves are for.
Creator: geekslave
Fandom: Merlin RPF
Pairings/Groups: Bradley/Colin
Rating: NC-17
Work Type (fic, art): fic
Word Count: (If applicable) 10,424
Work URL: On A03
Summary:Bradley considers himself to be a fairly fearless person. So why was he acting like such a coward just because he realizes he’s in love with his best friend?
Prompt: (where applicable, include a link to the prompt) Based on this prompt.
Perversities (Kinks, concepts): rimming, barebacking
Warnings: None
Creator Notes: Written for the
perverse_bang Based on some tweets and a few posts. The story idea wouldn't leave my head so I decided to have some fun with it.Thank you to my beta
inspired_being for really great and thorough work! Bradley comes skidding to a stop and tries to catch his breath. “Macken?” He calls out through his gasps.
Eoin’s halfway down the sidewalk before he finally turns around. He doesn’t even break a sweat as he makes his way over to a doubled over Bradley. He smirks as he puts his hands on his hips. “We’re off the job for a few weeks and already you’ve let yourself go. If the knights could see you now.”
Bradley rolls his eyes as he stands upright. “Shut it.”
Eoin smiles broadly as he starts to jog in place. “You’re the one who wanted to go for a run.”
And Bradley is regretting that decision more and more by the second. “I wanted to go jogging, not prepare for a marathon.”
Eoin chuckles. “Fine.” He stops jogging. “Do you want to take a break, go for a pint?”
Bradley hesitates. While his body is aching and longing for a respite, and the idea of a cold drink added to the appeal, he isn’t sure if he wants to say yes. You can never just grab a pint with Eoin. You’ll always undoubtedly end up getting smashed and having to drag a useless, drunken Eoin home. That’s if you were even capable of remembering your own name. Then again, it’s not like Bradley had a steady job to be at the next day. Now that Merlin was over, his schedule was wide open.
Bradley shrugs. “Why not?”
~*~
Always trust your instincts, Bradley. Always, he thinks as he watches Eoin down his fifth shot of tequila. Eoin’s eyes were already becoming unfocused. Bradley, on the other hand, has managed to stick to just beer and is still nursing his first pint.
“Come on, have some tequila.” Eoin shoves the shot glass under Bradley’s nose, the liquid sloshing over the side on to Eoin’s hand and the table.
Bradley waves him off. “I’ll pass.”
“Oh, come on!” Eoin sighs. “I didn’t pay for all these drinks just for you to sit there with only one.”
“You didn’t pay for anything. I did.”
Eoin’s brow furrows briefly. He shrugs. “That’s what I said. I didn’t pay for anything.”
Bradley rolls his eyes.
Eoin tosses back the drink. “Were you the one allergic to tequila?”
Bradley shakes his head, a small smile creasing his lips. “No, that was Colin.”
A big and genuine smile graces Eoin’s face. He sighs. “Colin! I miss that bloke.”
Bradley looks down at the table, picking at an imagined blemish on the wooden surface. He’d been deliberately avoiding the topic of Colin and could kick himself for being the one to bring him up. He grunts noncommittally to Eoin’s declaration.
Eoin levels Bradley with a scrutinizing gaze. He may have been halfway close to drunk but Eoin had a way of being incredibly observant, even now. “You can’t tell me you don’t miss him, too.”
Bradley grimaces and limply shrugs his shoulders.
Eoin continues to stare at him, making Bradley uncomfortable. He puts another shot of tequila to his lips. “Do you know one of the things I love most about Colin?” He gulps down the shot.
“Do you think perhaps you should slow down?” Bradley points to the bottle of tequila.
“It’s that he’s so nice,” Eoin ignores Bradley. “You’d think as an actor he’d be a pretentious, selfish wanker, but he’s not. He’s just genuinely a nice guy.”
“Not all actors are wankers. Are you saying that I’m not nice?”
Eoin shakes his head. “Yeah.” He laughs.
“Thanks.” Bradley takes a sip of his beer, the foam completely gone by now.
Eoin points the empty shot glass at him. “Do you know how I know you’re a right bastard?”
Bradley practically chokes on his drink. “Oi! How’d we go from me being not nice to a complete bastard?”
Eoin ignores him again. “You’re not a good friend.”
Bradley recoils at the accusation, starting to really take offense. “If I’m such a bad friend, what are you even doing here?”
“You’re not a bad friend to me. I like you. I think you’re a mostly fun and very handsome fellow. I meant that you’re a bad friend to Colin.”
Bradley sputters indignantly but honestly can’t come up with any real defense to that claim. He tries not to think about it, but in the back of his mind he knows he’s been treating Colin very shabbily recently, but he doesn’t know what else to do.
“Colin told me you haven’t spoken to him once since we wrapped. Not even to pick up the bloody phone and congratulate him on his new gig. How hard is it to type a congratulatory text? I’m practically drunk and I can do it right now.”
Bradley sighs. “I just need a little space. I love you guys but I’ve practically spent every day for five years attached at the hip to you lot, even when we weren’t filming. I just want to take some time to myself.”
Eoin smiles. “That is horseshit!”
Bradley looks around the somewhat crowded pub to see if anyone was staring at them after Eoin’s loud declaration. Everyone is too preoccupied with their own business to pay attention to them, drinking and laughing with their mates, while he was getting the third degree from his.
“If that were in anyway true, why would you still be hanging around with me? Why would you still talk to Angel every week?”
Bradley just let out a huff instead of responding.
“Rupert told me you have plans to go the gym with him? The only person you seem to be distancing yourself from is Colin.” Eoin pours another shot and places it in front of Bradley. “So why is that, Bradders?”
Bradley glares at him. “I told you not to call me that.” He sits back and eyes the tequila. “It’s not the same between Colin and me. I didn’t have as many scenes with you or the other knights. Or anyone else, even Angel. The bond between Merlin and Arthur was something different.”
Eoin nods. “I know. And I always thought it was the same between you and Colin.”
“It is. Or was.” Bradley sighs. “I don’t know. Now that the show’s over I’ve started to wonder how much of our relationship was affected by what was happening on screen. I’m just trying to work it out for myself.”
Eoin eyes the still full shot and slowly reaches out, sliding his finger against the rim. “He misses you.”
Bradley’s head shoots up so fast Eoin chuckles softly. Bradley ignores him. “He said that?” Bradley notices there’s a pathetic hint of hopefulness in his tone.
“He didn’t start weeping like a little girl and wail about the wonder that is you, but I can tell. He’s asked about you and every time he does, I can hear the sadness in his voice.”
If Bradley weren’t in a crowded room he might seriously punch himself in the face. He can tell by the look in Eoin’s eyes that he wants to.
“He’s not confused, mate. He misses you, not Arthur. If you’re too big of a prat to see that Colin is the best friend you can ever hope to have then you’re a bigger idiot than I’ve ever given you credit for.”
Bradley shouldn’t be surprised at the sincerity in Eoin’s voice. The man was very intelligent and passionate about the things he cares about. He doesn’t have trouble telling you exactly what is on his mind.
Eoin lets out a large belch then holds his stomach. “I don’t think those two beers were a good idea.”
Bradley snorts. “You think the beers were a bad idea?” He said looking at the tequila bottle.
Eoin puts his hand to his mouth. He looks as if he’s waiting for another belch, but nothing happens. He looks up at Bradley. “Did something happen between you and Colin?”
Bradley furrows his brow. “We didn’t have a row or anything if that’s what you’re referring to.”
Eoin shakes his head, then immediately puts a hand against his temple. “I shouldn’t do that.” He closes his eyes briefly and then opens them to stare once again at Bradley. “What I meant was, did anything…you know…sexual happen between you two?” He illustrates his point further with an obscene gesture.
“No!” Bradley yells. This time he sees a couple of people, in the table in front of them, throw a glance their way. “No.” Bradley repeats, quietly.
“There’s nothing wrong if it did. People always assumed it happened once or twice anyway.”
“What?”
Eoin smiles as he nods slightly. “Yeah - a few bets were placed on whether or not you two had ever shagged by blokes I probably shouldn’t name.” He pauses briefly. “Alright it was Tom and Alex, but that’s all I’ll say.”
Bradley rolls his eyes. He would have expected this kind of thing from Katie, but not from the guys. “I don’t really have to explain myself to you, but no we have never shagged.”
“It’s ok if you’re attracted to Colin. Despite the ears, he’s a pretty attractive bloke. Actually, the ears are kind of a turn on. I could imagine having some fun grabbing those things-“
“For the love of God, do not finish that sentence.” Bradley holds up his hand. “I’m not going to talk about this, especially not in public. You know how people love to gossip.
Eoin stands up a bit unsteadily. “Fine. Excuse me, I’m just going to go and hurl with dignity.”
Bradley gets up to follow him, but Eoin waves him off. Sitting down slowly, Bradley sits for a moment in silence before grabbing the tequila bottle and pouring himself a shot, knocking it back and then having another one immediately afterwards.
The only thing he can think about now is Colin - lots of thoughts about Colin, especially about using those ears how Eoin had suggested. But he immediately closes down that line of thought. He sighs deeply. He knows Colin deserves better than how he had been treating him. Truth is it probably wouldn’t hurt to call Colin. The worry for Bradley was that if the mere talk of Colin made him feel like this – anxious and confused – then hearing Colin’s voice would make it a thousand times worse.
~*~
As he had predicted, Bradley had to drag a barely conscious Eoin back to his flat. Eoin was barely any use at all. By the time Bradley dumps the gibbering Irishman on his couch, he feels as if he’s been through an hour's workout.
Bradley goes to his room and struggles to take his shoes off. He is nowhere near as drunk as Eoin, but the two tequilas along with the beer made his thoughts and movements a bit sluggish. He walks over to the two large windows in his room and opens one. It isn’t exactly freezing, but it was definitely a cold night. The wind is bracing against his face, but Bradley welcomes it.
He takes out his cell phone and thumbs through his contacts. When he gets to Colin’s name his thumb hovers over it. The idea of calling Colin should not be making him feel like this. What he told Eoin about his confusion wasn’t complete bullshit, but there was far more to it.
Bradley was not someone who spent much time giving in to fear. He was the kid who, at age 12, jumped off the roof of his two story secondary school to prove a point to Stuart Collins that he could. Of course, it was idiotic and he ended up in AE, but he proved his point and that was all he had cared about. Though, to be honest, his mum’s wrath scared him more than the jump. He thought his mum wouldn’t ever let him see the light of day after that stunt.
He doesn’t get scared easily but his feelings for Colin were something he’s never experienced before. It made him feel disoriented and like he was constantly having some sort of out of body experience.
Bradley didn’t need Eoin to tell him his bond with Colin was truly special. He always knew that. On paper, he and Colin barely had anything in common but they got each other in ways that no one else did. The whole thing about Merlin and Arthur being two sides of the same coin, he truly felt that way about him and Colin.
It wasn’t something he found weird at all. It was comfortable and he enjoyed the camaraderie he shared with Colin. But there came a time he had started to realize there might be more than friendship going on, at least on his side of things. He noticed how he always found ways to touch Colin. When Colin was in a room, his eyes were always drawn to him. Even when Colin wasn’t around, just the mention of his name made his ear perk up and filled him with joy. Gradually, over their last year of filming the first and last thought of his day usually centered on Colin.
At first, he tried to chalk it up to it being their last year together and to a heightened sense of nostalgia and friendship knowing that while their friendship may continue, it may never be the same again. The thought didn’t make him feel any less awkward around Colin. He found he was distancing himself from Colin even before filming on Merlin/i> had wrapped, yet he couldn’t completely stay away. It unsettled him to constantly be on guard around Colin and to act so stiffly, but he convinced himself it was the best way to preserve the friendship.
But it didn’t work; his thoughts and feelings about Colin persisted even after they had parted ways. Bradley was a stubborn man and he was still determined to stuff the feelings down into a tight manageable ball. He would get over this “crush” and things would be better.
Bradley was wrong; things only got worse after they filmed the finale. Bradley had prepared for Arthur’s death, and while he knew it would be an emotional scene, he thought he could get through it like any other. But once they were in the moment, it took a toll on him that he didn’t expect. The scene had been going well, but Bradley felt like it wasn’t as perfect as it could be. On the third take, Colin was holding him and looked into his eyes and it was as if something had switched on in his brain and everything became so clear. In that moment he was more connected with Arthur than he’d ever been and he knew exactly how Arthur felt about Merlin - he knew it because he felt the same way about Colin. He was the most important person in the world to him and there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for him.
The fact that he made it through the scene after that was a miracle to Bradley. As soon as they were done, Bradley had bolted. After that moment he couldn’t handle being anywhere near Colin. But now he realizes how much he is hurting Colin and he feels sick to his stomach. No matter what he does he misses Colin terribly and he has no idea how to make it better. He closes his phone and trudges over to his bed, throwing himself down onto it with a loud groan. Perhaps he’ll give denial a chance for a few more days.
~*~
Bradley feels someone kick his foot and turns around. He leans forward, though he already knew the culprit. Eoin was looking at him with a cheeky grin. “Is there any reason in particular you keep watching the door instead of the stage?”
If they weren’t in such polite company Bradley would give him a two fingered salute. Instead he takes a deep breath. “I think it’s fairly obvious that I’m looking to see if Colin is going to get here on time. His award is coming up soon and I don’t want him to miss it…that’s all.”
Eoin just continues to grin at him even waggling his eyebrows. “Sure…that’s all.”
Bradley sits back and manages to avoid staring at the back door for thirty seconds, before turning back again. They were at the National Television Awards and Colin’s category for Best Dramatic Performance was coming up and he was nowhere to be found. Eoin had mentioned that Colin was still filming on his new project Quirke. Bradley hopes that Colin will make it in time. Of course Colin has stiff competition but Bradley has a good feeling about Colin’s chances.
Those good feelings though did not extend to how he felt things might go between him and Colin. He never did manage to make that phone call to Colin. Now he is about to see him for the first time in months, he is feeling incredibly nervous, but more than that, there is a heady rush of anticipation. He wants to see Colin so badly it scares him.
A stage manager rushes over, briefly announces that Colin’s award is next and a seat filler is placed next to Bradley. He starts to panic in earnest now. Colin isn’t going to make it. He looks over at the brown-haired stranger and finds himself having a strange urge to throttle the poor man. It isn’t his fault he’s not Colin.
Then, just as suddenly as before, the harried stage manager rushes over and grabs the man. Before Bradley can blink Colin is sitting next to him. Rupert, Eoin, and Alex greet him warmly. Bradley is left trying to get a hold of himself and keep from staring. When Colin’s blue eyes finally land directly on Bradley's own clear blue ones, Bradley sucks in a breath. He finds himself flashing back to being eight years old and bouncing up and down excitedly as he was presented with the ten speed bike he’d begged his parents for. It was the best present he’d ever received and he thought he would combust from happiness. That feeling couldn’t even compare to how he felt looking at Colin.
“Hi.” Colin gives him a small nod and a little wave.
It’s so Colin that Bradley almost wants to cry. “Hi.”
They stare at each other awkwardly for another moment. Colin shuffles forward in his seat and adjusts his bowtie.
Bradley desperately tries to think of something to say. He looks at Colin’s head and blurts out. “Your hair is different.”
Colin turns to him. He nods. “Yeah, I cut it for the new project.”
“Right,” Bradley slowly nods. He mutters to himself, “And I would have known that if I'd bothered to talk to you recently.”
As he mentally slaps himself around, the lights in the auditorium dim as the presentation of Best Dramatic Performance begins. He faces forward briefly before looking at Colin. “Good luck.”
Colin stares at him and with hooded eyes and says sincerely. “Thank you.”
Bradley slowly turns around again. The way Colin was looking at him made him squirm in his seat. When they announce Colin as one of the nominees Bradley claps long and hard. Come on, Colin. He chants in his head.
When Colin is announced as the winner, things seem to speed up and slow down at the same time Bradley is filled with so much pride and happiness he wants to crush Colin to his chest. But he manages to refrain from that, instead he grabs Colin and shakes him a little. Colin heads up to the stage and Bradley stands, watching Colin. He can feel tears start to well in his eyes.
He doesn’t remember sitting back down; his eyes never leave Colin. The joy on Colin’s face is beautiful and contagious. After five years, for Colin to get the accolades he so clearly deserves is wonderful. Bradley knows that no one deserves it more. No one is as good or talented or beautiful or special as Colin. Bradley thinks back to everything he felt while they were filming their final scenes together. He feels exactly the same now as he did then, only now he’s finally willing to admit to himself what he’s been desperately trying not to say or even think - he was in love with his best friend.
~*~
Colin never makes it back to his seat. Part of Bradley hates that he wasn’t there with Colin and that he didn’t get to be the first person to personally congratulate him. Another part of him feels a great sense of relief that he didn’t have to deal with Colin being elbow to elbow with him after realizing his true feelings, especially when he doesn’t know what to do with said feelings.
As the after party begins, Bradley finally spots Colin for the first time. He’s at the other end of the room making his way through a sea of well-wishers. He still has a radiant, mile wide smile on his face. Bradley can’t help smiling, too. The smile quickly fades when Colin turns and looks at him directly. He looks like a man on a mission as he heads toward Bradley.
Bradley is sure he must resemble a deer caught in the headlights. Colin stops in front of him and smiles. Bradley can’t help giving Colin a quick embrace. “Congratulations.” He says as he pulls back as quick as humanly possible.
Colin nods. “Thank you.” He scans the crowd behind him briefly before turning back to Bradley. “Do you mind if we go somewhere else? I really need to talk to you.”
Bradley gulps. “W-where do you want to go?”
“My flat’s not far from here.”
Bradley’s eyes widen. He thought Colin just wanted to step out in the hallway or even outside. He didn’t realize he wanted to leave the area altogether. “You want to leave the party? Everyone wants to talk to you.”
“I know. But this is more important.”
Bradley takes a deep breath. “Alright, let’s go.”
~*~
“Would you like something to drink?”
Bradley sits down on Colin’s couch and tries to keep his knees from knocking. “Sure, whatever you have is fine.”
He can feel the rumbling in his stomach and tries to calm down. He’s been alone with Colin before, it was no big deal. Except, those other times he hadn’t been consciously aware of his intense desire to smother Colin with kisses and rip his clothes off.
Colin is now standing before him and when he reaches out to hand Bradley his drink, Bradley fumbles the cup and brown liquid and ice spills all over him. “Shit!”
“It’s alright.” Colin brushes the ice off and then rushes from the room, coming back with a cloth. He kneels before Bradley and starts to wipe at his lap. “It’s a good thing it was iced tea and not the regular. I’d hate to think of you with third degree burns on your crotch.” He laughs.
Bradley’s too nervous to let out anything but a strained chuckle.
Bradley is sure that he’s about as dry as he’s going to get, but Colin is still wiping him down. As the blood starts to travel down to his nether regions, Colin looks up at him with an intense stare, his blue eyes big and searching. Bradley gulps. He snatches the cloth from Colin’s hands. “I think I’m good now.”
“Right.” Colin shakes his head. He gets up and sits next to Bradley.
Bradley twiddles his thumbs and can barely make eye contact with Colin. He lets out a sharp exhale. “Do you have anything to eat around here, and by eat I mean, you know something edible?”
Colin snorts as he gets up and goes to the kitchen. Bradley follows him. “Everything I have to eat is, you know, edible.”
Bradley nods slowly. “Alright further correction, do you have anything to eat that’s fit for someone who is into things like taste and flavor.”
Colin rolls his eyes as he rummages through a cupboard. “I’d actually like to live for a really long time.”
“I do as well. I just don’t think I need to eat something that’s akin to tree bark to do it. My great-grandfather put meat in everything, everything, even ice cream, and he lived to be 90.”
“You’re lying.” Colin says. He turns around and puts down some chips.
Bradley makes the sign of the cross on his chest. “I swear. They called him Carnivorous Carl. Which was odd because his first name wasn’t even Carl.”
Colin bursts out laughing. “You’re so weird. Why am I friends with you?”
“Because you’re weird, too,” Bradley laughs. Angst-filled thoughts about his feelings are put aside for a moment and he can just be with Colin like before. It’s nice.
Colin picks up the bag of chips and presses them into Bradley’s hands. They go back out and sit on the couch. Colin opens the bag of chips and begins to munch on them. Bradley just stares at his hands. “I’m surprised you’re not angry with me.” He blurts out.
Colin’s eyes narrow in confusion. “Why would I be angry with you?”
Bradley sighs, “Because I haven’t talked to you since filming wrapped.”
Colin purses his lips. “Oh, right, that.” He shrugs. “I was a little cross, at first but I think I understand.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. Filming our last scene together was really intense. And these last five years we’ve been so entwined together, I understand why you needed a break. I have really missed you, though.”
Bradley is sure he’s not imagining the way Colin has inched even closer to him. Bradley stuffs a chip nervously into his mouth.
“I think the time a part has actually been a good thing. It’s made me realize some things about our relationship.” Colin’s hand rests closely against Bradley’s.
“Yeah?” Bradley’s voice cracks unmistakably.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Bradley, I-”
Bradley stands up suddenly, cutting Colin off. “I have to go.” Bradley feels his chest tighten and feels out of breath and dizzy. Is this what a panic attack feels like? Whatever it is he needs to get away fast.
Colin’s mouth drops open and he stands up to face Bradley. “You’re leaving now?”
“I’m sorry but I...I’m not feeling very well. If you don’t want me to puke in your living room, I really need to leave.” Bradley heads for the door in a hurry.
“Do you want me to drive you home?”
Bradley shakes his head. “No, I think I can manage.” He opens the front door and turns back to look at Colin. “I’m sorry.”
Colin opens his mouth to say something but Bradley rushes out.
Bradley gets to his car and grips the steering wheel tightly. What. The. HELL. Was. That? Bradley feels like a huge loser. Why didn’t he just let Colin finish his sentence? It could have changed everything. Bradley realizes that’s exactly what he was afraid of.
~*~
Instead of choosing to face his fears head on, Bradley decides the best idea is to run away and hide. He decides to push up his plans to visit the states and leaves as soon as possible. Staying away from Colin hadn’t worked, so maybe some distance, a lot of distance, would do the trick.
He actually manages to enjoy himself on his first few days there. It’s been great to see some of his friends and actually be able to relax. It was kind of fun being recognized wherever he went and to sign autographs, but to also finally be a regular person for once. He manages to not think of Colin for a day, but when he checks in with his mum, she excitedly mentions that Colin will be performing at the Globe. Bradley is thrilled for Colin. He knows that’s always been a dream of Colin’s. But Bradley realizes that he will probably miss Colin’s opening night, which might be for the best considering how he left things. Ever since he bolted from Colin’s flat, Colin has been calling him but Bradley hasn’t returned any of his calls.
After the phone call, Colin is once again the predominant thought in his head. He thinks about him while riding amusement park rides. He thinks about him whenever they pass a vegetarian restaurant in California. He even thinks about him while clothes shopping. In fact, on impulse he buys Colin a cute graphic T-shirt he knows he’ll love.
Perhaps that's why he has agreed to his friend James’s ridiculous idea to go skydiving. He’s desperate for any kind of distraction. He figures he will surely be able to forget Colin while hurtling his way back down to Earth. And he was partially right. Now the predominant thought in his mind is his imminent death.
Bradley looks over the edge of the plane and wonders what the hell he’s doing. If he really needs a distraction that badly he should have tried a new book or a new club or perhaps even experimenting with bangs, anything but hurtling his body from 25,000 feet. This is a stupid idea. This is a stupid idea that was bred from the stupid ideas of a stupid, smug, drunken tosser. “Bloody Macken.” He grumbles under his breath.
“What?” James asks.
Bradley waves him off. “Nothing.”
He looks behind him as his skydiving instructor Paul finishes connecting their harnesses together. It is five minutes before they will make their jump. They are doing a tandem free fall. Bradley finds himself chuckling a bit. It amuses him to be so closely connected to someone and experience something so potentially life-altering with someone he’s only meant a half hour ago.
“Now remember,” Paul shouts. “We’ll be freefalling for a minute and then I will deploy the parachute. You’ve indicated that you want to help fly the parachute after it’s been opened, is that correct?”
“Yes,” Bradley nods his head vigorously. Bradley grips the toggles that will help him steer the parachute.
Bradley takes a deep breath. This will be fine. It won’t be like in secondary school when he came crashing down to earth and heard the sickening crack as his leg broke. This will be different. He isn’t nearly as stupid. There are all kinds of safety precautions at work here and the chances of him dying are minimal. But a voice in the back of his head warns him there is still a chance he could die. He starts to wonder if he should call the whole thing off.
“I don’t know if I can do this.” Bradley declares.
“What?” James shouts.
“This is probably the single worst idea you’ve ever had. I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” Bradley shakes his head.
James furrows his brow. He looks puzzled. “I thought you’d like it.”
Bradley snorts. “Why would I like this? The thought of plummeting to my death doesn’t thrill me. Something could go wrong. Aren’t you scared?”
James closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Brad...” he sighs. “I swear, I am about ten seconds away from throwing you out of this plane...without the parachute.”
Bradley is taken aback by his outburst.
“What the hell has gotten into you? You’re acting like a...nervous ninny. You have been this entire time. I had to talk you into going on a rollercoaster, for crying out loud.”
“It didn’t look like fun.” Bradley protests, it sounding weak even to his ears.
“You sure looked like you had fun once I got you on the bloody thing. And this,” he gestures to their surroundings, “normally you would have been the first one to suggest this and you wouldn’t have taken the piss out of anyone who looked even remotely green.”
Bradley knows he’s right. This isn’t him, none of this - running away from Colin, being so petrified to leap out of this plane. He is not this coward he was becoming.
“Bradley you’re usually so fearless. I mean, who eats monkey brains on a dare? Bradley Fucking James that’s who? What is going on with you?” James’s voice softens. “You won’t talk to me or any of your other friends. Even your mum.”
“I’m just really terrified about something going wrong. I don’t want to ruin something wonderful. Because if it doesn’t work out and I lose this person, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“Just let go, mate because this fear and worry is getting you nowhere. You would be the first person to tell me that you can’t let fear get in the way of your happiness. You won’t know until you try.”
Bradley squeezes James’s shoulder. “That was lovely. I didn’t know you worked for Hallmark these days.”
James’ laughs loudly. He punches Bradley in the shoulder. “Blow it out your arse.”
Joking aside, Bradley greatly appreciates his friend’s counsel. It is great to have a friend give him a kick in the arse, though thankfully not literally. It is clearly something he needed to hear and he does start to feel a weight begin to lift from his shoulders. “I am Bradley Fucking James and I can do this,” he whispers.
“You ready?” Paul yells in his ear. Bradley nods. “One, two, three!”
And just like that they are falling forward and into the air. It’s a strange sensation. Bradley doesn’t have the feeling of weightlessness he thought he would. He feels grounded and in control. After a while it feels as if the wind is forcefully pulling at his face. But it doesn’t feel painful. He catches a glimpse of the videographer and gives a genuinely big smile. This is the most exhilarating feeling. Somehow it feels familiar.
After a minute his instructor pulls the cord and their parachute opens. They become vertical once again and he takes hold of the toggles and puts his hands above his shoulders as he helps steer them back down to the ground. Paul takes control as they head toward the ground. It is a gentler landing than he expects. Paul lands on his feet, while Bradley skids on his arse for a brief moment, but quickly comes to a complete stop. His friend Seth is waiting for him. He can feel the mile wide grin on his face.
Seth helps him up. He claps him on the shoulder. “How was it, mate?”
“Words really can’t do it justice,” Bradley explains.
Seth nods and laughs. “I know. I told you it would be brilliant.”
They look up to see James floating through the sky. Bradley grins. “You were right.”
Seth just shrugs as if that’s a given. “What do you want to do now?”
“I want to go home.”
~*~
Bradley’s palms are sweating and he wipes them against his blue sweats as he walks towards the Globe. He looks down at his clothes and wonders if he should have dressed up a little more. But he dismisses the thought, knowing what he’s wearing won’t matter to Colin and that if he had worn something fancier Colin will just find it strange. Bradley shakes his head. “I’m such a girl.”
He looks around quickly, hoping no one notices him talking to himself. He knows a few fans have already seen him taking photos. The thought rankles a bit, but he isn’t going to let that stop him now. He is no longer going to let his fear direct his decisions.
He stops in front of the Globe Theatre and smiles instantly. The beanie hat, the huge backpack, the intense concentration – he would recognize Colin anywhere. It isn’t a surprise to see him outside pacing and studying his lines. Colin was always the consummate professional and practiced his lines right up until the moment they were set to film. It wasn’t because he had trouble remembering his lines or was unprepared. Bradley can’t ever imagine that being the case. Colin is just someone who is very thorough and cares deeply about everything he does. It is one of several reasons he cares so deeply about him.
He wipes a damp hand over his face and crosses the street. He stands and watches Colin for another second, smiling at how deep in concentration Colin is. There is a deep groove in the middle of his forehead and he is mumbling to himself.
Bradley laughs loudly. Colin stops in his tracks and looks up slowly. Bradley shakes his head. “I swear a meteor could come crashing towards the Earth and it wouldn’t be able to penetrate that fugue state you get into when you’re reading.”
Colin’s eyes slowly travel up Bradley’s body. A million different emotions seem to flit across Colin’s face. At first he is utterly confused, then for one brief moment, he seems excited and happy. But that is quickly replaced by an emotion Bradley can’t place. Colin’s expression is blank. His lips try to form some word that Bradley isn’t sure of and he won’t find out because Colin closes his mouth before finally speaking. “Bradley?”
“Yes, that’s me. I’m chuffed you still recognize me.” Bradley tries to make it light, but he is dying inside.
Colin purses his lips. “I’d probably recognize your fleeing back a bit better.” Bradley certainly can’t miss the less than friendly tone to Colin’s voice. “What are you doing here?” Colin grips his script tighter.
“It’s your opening night. I wouldn’t miss that.”
Colin quirks an eyebrow at him. “Really?”
Bradley shrugs. “Yes. I’m still your friend, Cols.”
Colin’s gaze falls to the ground. He seems to be warring with how to respond. Bradley knows Colin well enough to realize that Colin’s shy side is warring with his more outspoken one. The blunt side wins. “You haven’t really acted like a friend, Bradley. I’ve been calling you and you’ve been ignoring me.”
Bradley takes a few steps closer. “I’m so sorry. I know I’ve been acting like a total arse, but I can explain.”
Colin looks toward the front of the theatre. “I’m really busy, Bradley.”
Bradley nods quickly. “I know, I know. But I was hoping we could talk after the play. I know you’re going to be knackered, but it’s really important.”
Colin bites his lip. He sighs deeply. “Alright. I’ll meet you at your flat?”
Bradley licks his lips. “I’m going to be at the play tonight.” Colin’s eyes get bigger for a moment. “I thought, perhaps I could just meet you backstage and we could go back to yours.”
Colin swallows. “Are you sure? You ran so fast from my flat last time you looked like someone making a jail break. “
Bradley takes another step closer and is so close he can feel Colin’s shaky breath on his face. “I’m not going to run again. I promise.”
Colin rubs at the back of his neck and assesses Bradley. “You’re really going to watch the play?”
Bradley smiles broadly. “I wouldn’t miss you running around in tights for the world.”
Colin’s cheeks redden. “Who said anything about tights?”
They both laugh and Bradley is extremely grateful that not everything is broken between them.
Colin blinks up at Bradley and gestures towards the steps as he slowly backs away. “I should be getting back inside.”
“Alright. I’ll see you tonight, tights or not.”
Colin laughs one more time before slowly climbing the steps.
Bradley exhales slowly. He hopes the rest of the night will go more smoothly than that.
~*~
Bradley doesn’t know why he continues to be astonished by anything Colin does, but he finds himself flabbergasted by Colin’s performance in The Tempest. If he didn’t know it was him, he wouldn’t have even recognized him. It’s not just the make-up and the elaborate costume, but the way Colin completely submerges himself in any role he takes on. His body language and his voice changes in just the slightest way, but to tremendous effect. And to see him moving all around the stage like a demented acrobat is breathtaking. Bradley is tired just watching him.
He is incredibly happy for Colin. The audience obviously enjoys themselves and the joy on Colin’s face as the actors take their bows is clear. Selfishly, Bradley worries Colin will be too tired to talk to him. He hopes Colin won’t beg off, even though he will completely understand if he does.
Bradley gets backstage easily. Colin has made sure security knows he is expecting him. He is escorted to Colin’s dressing room and waits for him there. He tries sitting, but he keeps bouncing around in his seat. He stands up and tries to find a nonchalant way to stand, but isn’t sure what to do with his arms. He moves to take a seat again, but stops midway when the door begins to open. He quickly rights himself and tries to smile big, but not too widely.
He can instantly tell how drained Colin is. Colin greets him with a warm smile. He quickly takes a seat so he can take off his make-up.
Bradley wrings his hands together. “Colin, that was amazing. The whole play was brilliant and it was so much more than the last version of The Tempest I saw. But you…you were just – The way you moved across the stage. I didn’t know you could sing like that.”
Colin laughs, a breathy sound that ends with him stifling a yawn. “I’ve never known you to babble, James.”
“It was just really exciting.”
Colin smiles sincerely. “Thank you.” He pauses with his make-up removal. “You really thought the singing was alright? I’ve tried but I don’t think I’m as good as I should be.”
“I’m not saying Simon Cowell is going to come knocking down your door anytime soon, but normally your singing voice is like nails on a chalkboard, so this was quite an improvement.”
Colin grins. “No one has a way with backhanded compliments quite like you.”
“It was good, Colin. You shouldn’t worry about it. You can’t be perfect all the time.”
Colin nods. “Maybe you’re right.”
Bradley’s head snaps back. “Now I know you really are tired.”
Colin laughs.
Bradley sighs. “I really want to talk to you Colin. I need to. But maybe tonight isn’t the best time. I know you have another performance tomorrow and I don’t want you to fall off the stage tomorrow because I didn’t let you get any sleep.”
Colin stands up his face not quite as pale anymore. He grabs Bradley’s hand briefly. “I want to talk to you, too. I don’t want to wait.”
Bradley meets Colin’s eyes and wonders if Colin knows exactly what he wants to say. He clears his throat and looks away. “Shall we get going then?”
~*~
The drive to Colin’s flat is filled with a tense silence. Bradley isn’t sure what Colin is feeling. He catches Colin looking at him every now and again, but his expression is unreadable. No matter what Colin has to say in response, Bradley knows what he is about to do would irrevocably change their relationship – for good or bad, he didn’t know.
They get to Colin’s flat and Colin slowly pulls the keys from his backpack. He looks dead on his feet. He lets Bradley inside and closes the door. As soon as it’s closed and Colin turns to him Bradley speaks, his heart and not his brain, in control. “I love you.”
Colin sways on his feet and falls slightly against the door. “What?”
Bradley rubs at his face roughly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to just say it like that. I had this whole speech I prepared, but I’ve kept it to myself for so long and I’m afraid by the time I get to the end of that speech, the only response will be your eyes rolling back into your head as you fall into a coma.”
Colin steps closer and touches Bradley’s forearm gently. “Bradley, breathe.” He is tired and obviously reeling from Bradley’s announcement, but he is still trying to take care of him.
Colin leads Bradley to his living room and sits him down. Bradley takes a deep breath. Their knees are touching and Colin makes a move to get up, but Bradley grabs his hands. “Please, stay.”
Colin nods slowly.
“I went skydiving the other day.” Bradley starts.
Colin’s brow furrows in confusion. “How…exciting?”
Bradley grins. “I was terrified but I let go of my fear and I embraced the experience. It was absolutely thrilling and a once in a lifetime thing. Even if I went skydiving again, it wouldn’t be the same feeling. I felt joy and peace and free. When I was finally on the ground again, I kept wondering why the feeling felt so familiar. And I realized I feel that way when I’m with you. Every time. I’ve known that I love you for a really long time. But I was too afraid to admit it and too scared of things changing. I don’t want to ruin what we have because it is the most precious thing in the world to me. But I don’t want to deny myself that feeling anymore. Why would I? It’s stupid and crazy and pointless. I just want to be with you.”
Colin looks like a deer in the headlights. He blinks rapidly several times.
“So…that was my speech.”
Colin clears his throat. His fingers close around Bradley’s hand. “I think you should have led with that.”
Bradley smiles. “You liked it?”
“I loved it.” Colin cups Bradley’s cheek. “I loved it.”
Bradley doesn’t wait before moving in and capturing Colin’s mouth in a slow kiss. Colin buries a hand in Bradley’s golden hair. Bradley takes Colin’s bottom lip between his teeth and sucks it into his mouth and then runs his tongue over it, before licking his way inside Colin’s mouth.
Bradley pulls back and sees an agonizingly beautiful smile on Colin’s face. He goes in for another kiss but quickly pulls back. They’re both smiling so much it’s hard to kiss properly. “I can’t really kiss you when you’re smiling like that.” He says, his own matching grin threatening to break his face in half.
“I can’t help it,” Colin shrugs.
Colin is actually blushing and Bradley finds it ridiculously endearing. He nips at Colin’s nose.
Colin kisses the tip of Bradley’s nose. “Perhaps we can invent a new way of kissing, doing it just with our teeth. I think it can catch on.”
Bradley throws back his head and laughs. He runs his hand through Colin’s hair and looks into his eyes. He starts to sober a little. He kisses Colin’s top lip softly and then his bottom one. “I think I’d prefer to do it the old-fashioned way.”
Colin nods. “I’d like that.”
Bradley leans in slowly and kisses Colin's mouth savoring the taste of his incredibly soft and full lips.
Colin presses his body closer and wraps his arms around Bradley. Colin moans into the kiss. His hands begin to wander all over Bradley's body.
Bradley pulls back and trails kisses down Colin's jaw and neck. He sucks a bruise at Colin's pulse point.
Colin climbs into his lap and grinds down. Bradley growls and grabs hips and lifts him up. Colin wraps his legs around Bradley’s waist. Bradley carries them all the way to the bedroom. Their kisses pick up in urgency.
Bradley kicks open Colin's bedroom door. They fall on the bed, their lips never parting. Colin fists his hands in Bradley’s hair and wraps his legs around him. Bradley feels dizzy with want but he pulls back. He can feel Colin’s erection against his leg and knows he wants him, but he wants to make sure they’re not going too fast.
“What do you want?”
“I want you to stop talking.” Colin grabs Bradley’s face and smashes their lips together.
Bradley runs his hands over Colin’s clothed chest. He doesn’t want any barriers between them. He grips the end of Colin’s t-shirt and rips it off of him. Colin returns the favor.
Bradley is surprised at how strong and sculpted Colin’s upper chest is. Though he really shouldn’t be after how Colin bulked up during the final season of Merlin. And with how physical and acrobatic the part of Ariel is he thinks Colin will only get bigger.
Bradley leans down and lays a series of kisses down Colin’s chest. Colin’s chest rises and falls faster and faster the closer Bradley gets to his groin. Before he turns his attention to Colin’s crotch, Bradley flips Colin over roughly. He trails wet, open mouth kisses up and down Colin’s back. Colin groans and writhes against him.
Deciding to be bold Bradley mounds Colin’s muscular backside. He peels down Colin’s trousers and stares at his lovely round arse. He kisses both cheeks softly. He then spreads his cheeks, and strokes an experimental finger down Colin’s hole. It puckers briefly before opening up more. Colin grips the sheets and lets out a loud indecipherable series of sounds. Bradley knows what he wants.
Bradley tentatively flicks his tongue against Colin’s entrance. Again, Colin surprises him. He thrusts his ass towards Bradley’s face, demanding more. Bradley licks a long wet stripe down Colin’s hole and then repeats the motion making sure to get it nice and wet. Colin is bucking back and practically chanting Bradley’s name. Bradley’s toes curl. He loves being able to give Colin this kind of pleasure. He could gladly set up camp there if it would continue to provoke such filthy sounds from Colin’s mouth.
Bradley puckers up and places a soft kiss at Colin’s hole. His spit is sliding down and Bradley takes his thumb and circles Colin’s entrance repeatedly. He presses his thumb in slowly up to the knuckle and goes back to suckling at the dripping area with his mouth while slowly pumping his thumb in and out again.
Colin swings his arm back wildly and finally cups the back of Bradley’s head, pressing his face to his anus. “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Bradley is now making obscene slurping sounds. He can tell Colin is so close to coming and he wants that more than he wants to breathe. He takes his finger out and begins to stick his tongue in, stabbing at Colin.
“I’m going to come!” Colin wails.
Bradley reaches a hand around and tugs once at Colin’s cock before he feels his warm semen spilling over his hand. Colin lets out a hoarse moan. Bradley slowly laps at Colin as he begins to come down from his orgasm.
Colin slowly rolls forward as Bradley crawls up to lay beside him. He runs his hand across Colin’s heaving chest. “That was...I’ve never come like that before.”
“With someone’s face buried in your arse?” Bradley chuckles.
Colin shakes his head. He looks down at Bradley who is still tenting his trousers.
Bradley is painfully hard but wants to make sure Colin is alright and is satisfied.
Colin turns around to face Bradley. He draws Bradley into a kiss. He kisses him softly while working to get his trousers off. Bradley helps him by kicking them off once Colin gets them down to his knees.
They stare at each other for a moment. Bradley can’t believe how lucky he is to be with the person he loves after denying himself for so long. Being with Colin like this is better than he ever thought possible. When Colin reaches down and begins to stroke him gently, his desire to be buried in Colin magnifies. He strokes a knuckle down Colin’s cheek. “Do you have condoms?”
Colin looks down and bites his lip. “I’ve been tested recently and I’m clean.” He says with hesitation. “If you want to use something we can, but I really want to feel you inside me.”
Bradley closes his eyes and tries to control the rush of desire Colin’s words provokes. He nods slowly. “I was tested, too.” He pauses. “Are you sure about this?”
“Absolutely.” He looks over at his night stand. “I do have some lube in there.” He frowns for a moment. “I’ve never wished I had Merlin’s powers more.”
Bradley laughs and rushes over to the night stand. He’s back in two seconds. “Luckily, I’m as quick as Arthur is.”
Colin purses his lips. “Hopefully not too quick.” He tries to hold back a laugh but doesn’t succeed.
Bradley drops his head to Colin’s shoulder. “You know what I meant.” He pulls back and slowly moves on top of Colin. “You’ll be satisfied, I promise,” he says in a husky voice.
Colin’s laughter increases. “I’m sorry but now you sound like you’re in a porno.”
Bradley rolls his eyes. “There’s no pleasing you, is there.” He starts to tickle Colin, who starts to hiccup with laughter.
“Alright, I give, I give. I’m sorry.”
Bradley stops tickling him and smiles fondly at Colin. “That’s better.” Bradley reaches for the lube beside him and squeezes a small amount in his hands.
Colin’s laughter has died down and now he is watching Bradley’s moves intently.
Bradley brings a finger to Colin’s arse and fingers his hole gently, before easing his finger inside. Colin is still wet and loose from Bradley’s rimming and it doesn’t take long to prepare him. Bradley replaces his finger with the tip of his cock. Before entering Colin, he locks eyes with him. Colin nods slightly and Bradley pushes forward.
Colin squeezes his eyes shut, clearly in pain at first. Bradley worries he’s hurt him, but Colin quickly opens his eyes and nods, reassuring Bradley. Bradley makes sure to go slow, adjusting his movements to the way Colin is responding. When he’s in as far as he can go he pauses. He rests his forehead against Colin’s and tries to control his breathing. Colin is so tight around him that Bradley is afraid he won’t be able to last long.
He gasps when he feels Colin arch into him. Placing his hands by Colin’s head Bradley pushes up to his elbows and begins to move gently. Colin moans and trails his hands down Bradley’s back until he’s cupping his arse. Bradley pulls out of Colin all the way and slams his cock back in. Colin gasps and throws his head back. Bradley grinds his pelvis against Colin. He’s so deep and Colin clenches against his cock.
“Oh, fuck Colin!” Bradley groans.
Colin’s hard again and begins to fist his cock.
Bradley gradually begins to pump in and out at a faster pace, Colin’s moans urging him on. Colin kneads the muscles of Bradley’s ass. “Harder!”
Bradley grunts as he pushes in harder and harder.
“Oh God, right there!” Colin screams.
A part of Bradley is so eager to come inside Colin, he can’t take the anticipation. But he doesn’t want this to end. Being inside Colin, seeing Colin’s intense desire, the way he moans and writhes only for Bradley is the most awe inspiring feeling. It’s better than anything he’s ever felt. It’s even better than the rush he felt falling through the air. Nothing will ever be able to top this moment.
He grips Colin’s hips and begins to pound him again and again. Colin’s screams are so loud and he’s calling Bradley’s name.
Bradley can feel his orgasm building and building until his hips stutter and he presses his forehead to Colin’s. He can feel his come spurting inside Colin and he groans. “Colin!”
He begins to shudder and lazily looks down and can see Colin still stroking his cock and he comes after two more tugs. He gasps into Bradley’s mouth.
When they’re both completely still Bradley drags his face up and looks down at Colin, who looks dazed and in utter bliss. Bradley kisses Colin’s shoulder before pulling out gently.
He goes to get a flannel from Colin’s bathroom. He wipes the drying come from Colin’s belly. He then moves down and starts to clean Colin’s arse. He presses down and sees a line of come dribble from Colin’s hole. Bradley tosses the flannel aside and licks Colin clean. Colin gasps and bucks against the bed.
When Bradley moves up, Colin quickly grabs him and lays a filthy, dirty kiss on his mouth. He tastes himself on Bradley. “Fuck,” he sighs as he draws away from Bradley’s mouth and falls back against the bed.
“Yeah...fuck.” Bradley crawls over Colin and lays his head on Colin’s chest. He can feel how fast his heart is beating.
Bradley knows that they need to think, things need to be cleared up, but he can’t really be arsed to do anything but sleep as Colin trails his hands through his hair. He feels so content, tired, and happy. He’s asleep in less than a minute.
~*~
A lovely, familiar smell wakes Bradley up. He can feel the sunlight streaming on his face before he opens his eyes. He leans back and is disappointed when he doesn’t feel Colin’s firm chest beneath him. He twists around and Colin is nowhere in sight, but he can hear noise in the kitchen and can smell...bacon?
Bradley gets up and pads to the kitchen as he rubs the sleep from his eyes. As he enters he sees Colin laying out a plate of bacon. It’s a huge mound and Bradley can’t even see the plate as he walks forward. He looks over and is shocked to see every breakfast meat you can possibly have on the table - bacon, sausage, ham, even bloody spam.
Colin smiles brightly when he sees Bradley. “Morning.”
Bradley grins and shakes his head. “Morning.” He walks over to Colin and kisses him. He puts his arm around Colin’s waist and draws him closer to deepen the kiss.
Colin pulls back leisurely, his eyes still closed for a moment. “I can get used to that.”
Bradley nods. “I can, too.” He looks over at the table again. “What have you been doing?”
“Cooking.”
“I can see that. There is many a slaughtered animal on the table.” Colin briefly grimaces as he looks at the table. “Are you trying to fatten me up?”
Colin sighs. “Yes, exactly. You have to be a lot bigger if I want to be able to sacrifice you to my Sun God, EarthWindFire.”
“No relation to the band.”
“Of course not, don’t be silly.”
They give each other the side eye and break out in matching grins.
After a minute, Colin gestures to the table. “I woke up and after watching you sleep for...a minute.”
“A minute?” Bradley gives him an eyebrow raise worthy of Gaius.
“Alright...half an hour.”
Bradley grins.
“Anyway, after watching you, I remembered that there was nothing here that you find edible so I went out and stocked up on some things I know you like. I want you to be comfortable here.”
Bradley doesn’t know if it’s possible, but he thinks he is falling in love with Colin even more. He walks over to the table and looks at the array of food. He turns to Colin. “You want me to be comfortable here? You plan on me being here often?”
Colin twists his hands together. “I hope so.”
Bradley steps closer to him. “Is that what you want?”
Colin shrugs. “I want whatever you...” he trails off. “No. I’m tired of being coy and too afraid to say what I really want. I love you, Bradley and I want to be with you.”
Bradley gets closer and wraps Colin in his arms. “I want that, too.” He pulls back and runs his fingers gently over Colin’s cheeks. “You were afraid, too.”
Colin laughs. “Of course. I was petrified. Bradley, you’re my very best friend in the whole world and the thought of risking our friendship scares the life out of me. I don’t want to lose you. But after we finished with Merlin I realized how much I loved you and I needed you. I wanted to tell you the night of the National Television Awards-”
“But I did a runner like an idiot.”
Colin nods.
“I’m so sorry,” Bradley says, regret lacing his voice.
Colin pecks him on the lips. “It’s ok. You made up for it...and then some,” he winks.
Bradley gives a full-throated laugh, throwing his head back. He is so grateful he didn’t permanently screw things up. He puts his arms around Colin’s neck. “I don’t know where our careers are going to take us, and I know we’ll drive each other crazy, but I don’t plan on going anywhere. You’re stuck with me now.”
Colin’s eyes light up and he looks up at Bradley with such tenderness and love. “I’m glad. Who else would have a couple of weirdos like us?”
“I don’t know.” Bradley kisses Colin again. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be over the thrill of getting to do that whenever he wants to now. “I promise you Colin, I’m not going to let fear dictate anything in my life again.”
“I trust that you won’t. You’re the bravest man I know, Bradley. And you’re going to need that bravery for some of the things I want to try.”
Bradley’s eyes widen and he smiles at the mischievous look on Colin’s face. “And just what are you referring to?”
Colin pulls away and tries to look innocent. “Nothing. Eat your breakfast. I’m just going to try and find my copy of The Kama Sutra.
Bradley laughs as he watches Colin walk away with a spring in his step. Colin throws him one last blinding smile before he rounds the corner. Colin has another thing coming if he thinks anything in The Kama Sutra could scare Bradley. Bradley can’t wait to show Colin a thing or two. He wants to get started right now.
He looks back at the food Colin so lovingly prepared and worries that it’s getting cold. He looks back at Colin’s room. “Fuck it,” he says as he races to the bedroom. That’s what microwaves are for.
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Date: 2013-06-16 03:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-17 04:32 am (UTC)Stacey